


Till It Happens to You

by Beautyishername



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-07 14:34:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4266834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beautyishername/pseuds/Beautyishername
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia should be content in her relationship with Jordan, but there is a certain some who she dreams about. But she never met him before now. AUish *DISCLAIMER*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blue Jeans

**Author's Note:**

> Till It Happens to You- Corinne Bailey Rae

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blue Jeans- Lana Del Rey

_She lay down on the grass. The wind tickled her alabaster skin. A soft smile on her face, Lydia admired the tree giving her shade. It's branches, long and strong. The sun peaked through the leaves._

_The silence was no longer loud and overbearing. Closing her eyes, the long awaited peace blanketed her in its arms. She was alone but not lonely. Yet she felt the loneliest while surrounded by a dozen of people in a small room._

_Her mind drifted to her perfect life. Her perfect job. And most importantly her perfect boyfriend. Jordan Parrish._

_The well known sherif in this small town. The man who was beautiful inside and out. Yet, she felt as if their relationship was stagnant. It didn't make sense, and she didn't know why. Six months flew by easily. Now everything changed. Maybe she changed._

_He had noticed her before. She was always so far away. But now he was close enough to gaze upon her face. He didn't know what intrigued him most about her: her rich strawberry blonde hair. Maybe it was the way she moved whimsically across the pasture as the butterflies danced with her. Whatever it was, he had to get a closer look._

_He was mindful with his steps, scaring her away was not an option. He admired her beauty as she sat up carefully. Gaining her composure she was welcomed by the kindest eyes she'd ever met._

_Her body was in a state of paralysis. This feeling she had was new yet familiar. The pit of her stomach fluttered with butterflies. Where had this beautiful man appeared from? This was not the first time she saw him. His dark eyes shimmered. Telling her of the beauty he saw before him_

_Stiles tried to run away but his legs did not move. He was taken by her bright green eyes and red stained cheeks._

_"Sorry I didn't mean to disturb you." He summoned his nerves to speak._

_She said nothing as she looked at him. The little stubble on his chin. He was lean but built. The little moles on his face that only enhanced his attractiveness. His awkwardness was somehow charasmatic._

_"No. You didn’t." Words came to her. "I was just..."_

_"Enjoying your time alone hoping not to be bothered by a stranger."His sarcasm was rewarded by a little laugh._

_"it's really not a problem....."She did not mean to hurt his feelings._

_"Stiles." He offered his hand to her._

_"Lydia" She shook his hand. A smile graced her face as he blushed brightly."So are you like me?" He gave her an inquisitive look._

_"Are you searching for something but you don't know what you are searching for?" Lydia hugged her legs as he sat down beside her._

_It gave her a better view of his kind features. His tone was pleasant to hear._

_To be honest I don't think anyone knows what they are searching for until they find it." Their eyes locked briefly before both looked elsewhere._

_Brushing his fingers through the grass, he wondered why it took so long to speak to her. The minute she spoke he was captured by her grace. This stranger was no longer a stranger to him. That was what his heart told him._

_As she laid down on the grass, so did he. Both watched the birds fly high and butterflies flutter playfully. She turned her head towards him. The sheer presence of him erupted a delight she had been waiting for._

_He felt her eyes on him and it made him stiffen. Her presence was far from alarming. But he should be alarmed. He just met her. And she was the most beautiful woman he had ever met. Most likely the smartest too. Her curious eyes were asking him numerous questions._

_"So are you going to ask me what you've been wanting to?" He searched her eyes as she said nothing._

_Her fingers itched to touch his cheek. So powerful she could not fight it. Her index finger gently moved along his cheek. She was crazy. There was no explanation for the undeniable need to touch him._

_His eyes closed under her spell. Sparks ignited throughout his body. Scary and weird but in a good way._

_"Open your eyes Stiles." He obeyed her command. Her whisper tickled his lips._

_"do you think you found what you were looking for?" She asked before she could think. Her finger touching his soft lips._

_This was wrong on so many levels. She had a boyfriend. One who thought the world of her. Yet here she was with this other man. Feeling "this" inside of her._

_"I think we both did." He kissed her delicate finger. Grabbing her hand, he kissed her palm._

_"this can't be real....." He leaned in slowly. His breath on her_ lips.

"Lydia." Allison laughed at her best friend’s light snore. The stack of student calculus exams needed to be graded. Apparently she intended to before she fell asleep while finishing her task.

"Stiles?" Lydia sat up quickly. Her eyes adjusted to the lights in her office.

It was only a dream. But it felt so real. For the past few weeks they all felt real. Finally she was able to talk to the man who had been plaguing her thoughts without end.

"That must have been some fence or bridge." The gorgeous brunette refenced to the dictionary meaning of stiles.

"actually no. You know what. nevermind."She realized she had a lot to do. Besides her dream was to creept to talk about in a serious manner.

"Parrish has definately been keeping you up all night. Looks like you are ready to move in with him.” Allison hinted as Lydia rolled her eyes.

Her life as a professor at the local college was oddly eventful. The head of the mathematics department, she held her head high. As The youngest doctor on campus she was envied and hated for all.her accolades that hung across the walls. But that didn't matter as long as her students were learning. And judging by this ten question pop quiz half were. And the drop date for classes had passed.

"Can you help me grade these?" Allison could not deny her friend’s puppy dog eyes as she handed her an answer key.

"lyds...alright. but don't think how I didn't notice that." Allison grabbed a red pen from the cup of her desk.

"Notice what?" Lydia ignored the dojo owner and self-defense instructor. Both had accomplished so much for their age.

"I noticed how you nearly cringed at his name. I thought things were going well."

"They are." The two graded. But they were going too well. She sounded spoiled but that was the problem.

"So you are going to....."

"Allison can we please focus on this?" She grew tense. "I have a job and it doesn't consist of being Jordan's girlfriend."

"alright. Alright."Allison let it go but ad soon as they were done it would be discussed.

**twtwtwtwtw**

 

Stiles sipped his coffee as he organized his case files. His father would be proud of him. Now retired, it was odd seeing someone take his place as the new sherif. Parrish wasn't a bad guy at all. He had alot of traits he and his father possessed. Now a detective, he could be closer to his father. Beacon Hills would be a nice place to settle down.

At a young age, his parents divorced. No bitter blood between the two, he lived with his mother. Visiting his father during summers and holidays, he didn’t understand how they survived without the hustle and bustle of a city. However, many mysteries needed to be solved and he was the man to do it.

Three weeks had passed and the officers were getting used to his dry humor and sarcasm. Placing the folders in the cabinet, he made sure he had enough colored string. They laughed at his simple method, but it always got the job done. Looking up, he saw Parrish beg for him.

"well you are in a good mood today." Stiles leaned against the door frame. His new boss was always professional and attentive to their needs.

Jordan could not disagree. His job was going well. And his girlfriend would soon become his live-in girlfriend. What else could a man ask for? But his new rookie detective still felt out of place. It was his job to make him feel otherwise.

"How about I take you out tonight."Parrish asked.

"O Parrish. But I have nothing to wear." The two laughed.

"You're not my type." Jordan sat on the edge of his desk."But you do need to see what Beacon Hills has to offer. And we are off tomorrow."

Stiles hated to refuse but he couldn't. Sleep deprivation would not allow it.

"Thanks but I really need to get some sleep. Since I've been here I haven't really gotten any. Guess my body is just getting used to everything." He sipped.

"Come on Stilinski be a rebel. You can sleep tomorrow. Besides you need to enjoy a few beers. Enjoy a live band. Plus, you can meet my girl and her friends. Nothing wrong with meeting good people."

"Guess not. What time should I be there?"

"Elevenish." He instructed.

"Sounds like a plan then." He left the office. It still wasn’t too late to change his answer.

His body was more than used to being here. It was his dreams that kept him up. Dreams of a strawberry blonde with a bright smile. They were no nightmares but he would stay awake for hours wondering how his imagination could create someone so perfect. So perfect that no other woman compared to her.....

**twtwtwtwtw**

 

Lydia nearly jumped when she and Allison finished grading. All she needed was to enter them in her gradebook. Avoiding her eyes, Allison's stare intensified. Telling her to speak up.

"please tell me what's going on with you two. I mean you can't lie to your best friend. And you are going to have to tell him you don't want to move in with him." She read Lydia's uncomfortable body language.

“How do you know Scott is the one for you? Just because things are good doesn't mean there is nothing wrong. But what if you are wanting something ‘great’ rather than ‘good’?" Allison's head spun as she babbled.

"layman's terms please?" She snickered but instantly regretted it when Lydia looked distraught.

"Jordan is a wonderful man. He's the perfect man but there is that voice that tells me I'm settling." She saw her friend roll her eyes.

"Lydia it's just fear. I mean you have a hard time letting yourself be happy. It’s understandable after Jackson and Aiden, but your grown now. High school relationships don't matter."

Allison never steered her wrong. She was not settling. Only trying to sabotage her own happiness. Jordan was the man she always wondered. Her dreams were her fears overpowering her reality. Tonight was going to give her the assurance she needed to take this relationship to the next level.

 


	2. Our Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our Deal- Best Coast

Lydia quickly got of the shower. Wrapping the towel around her body, she wiped the steam off the mirror. Mirror mirror on the wall who lives in the most denial of them all? She kept telling herself that this was fear and nothing else. Taking a deep breath, she wished she felt alive. Something was off in her life....

"Hey babe." Jordan kissed her neck as he tried to take her towel off. "How about we step in together?"

"How about no." She laughed. Trying to hide her discomfort. "We both want to make it on time tonight. You know parking is terrible." She kissed him.

"I know but you can't blame me for wanting this body. Can you?" He kissed her forehead.

"I guess not." She playfully nudged him as she left the bathroom.

The guilt hit her chest hard. They practically were living together. So why not move in with him? Half of her clothes and shoes were here. Another toothbrush and her razor. It was a no brainer, but she still craved this high she was looking for. This high that only existed when dreamed of him. This Stiles who seemed to......

"Lydia I'm inviting one of my associates with us tonight." He exited the bathroom.

"That's fine babe." She looked in the fridge. Making them both a salad. Something that would keep them content until tonight. "What's his name?"

"Stilinski." If he told her his nickname she wouldn't believe him. "He has a weird first name and even weirder nickname."

"O ok."She began to cut the lettuce as he cut the cucumbers. Her mind began to roam. "Wait as in retired Sheriff Stilinski?"

"Yes. His son....he is definately a city boy. He is always seeking adventure or waiting for it find him." He informed as her stomach churned eerily.

It was like her body was telling her something she didn't know. Guess that's why everyone teased her about being psychic.

"So have you finally decided what you want to do?" Jordan watched her stiffen. "You know you aren't obligated to move in with me right?" He took down some plates.

If that were the case why did he keep bringing it up? Her eyes showed she didn't believe him.

"I mean I'm gonna be a little hurt but I'll be alright."

"Jordan I don't want to talk about this now?" She grabbed the ranch dressing.

"Why not? You never want to deflect the question when it's about your job or the latest trends but when it comes to us then it's alright." He tried to not feel the sting of his ego. Grabbing two forks he gave one to her.

"Because I knew it would lead to this moment. Where we are arguing." She poured ranch on their salads.

"We aren't arguing. We are discussing." He stated.

"No you are keeping your emotions locked up as usual because you don't won't me to be upset." She read him like a book as he dropped his fork on plate.

"Fine." He frankly said. "I don't get it Lydia. We've been together for a while now. I love you. And I know you love me to. So what's wrong? Is it something I did?"

"No." She tried to eat. "It's just that. I want this I do. I'm just not ready to fully move in. It's not you. It's me. I promise." She touched his arm.

"I'm not like your past relationships if that's what you are thinking. I love you."

"I know that. I just. I don't know what's wrong with me Jordan? Please don't hold it against me." She saddened.

"I won’t. I don’t." He kissed her forehead.

Lydia wiped her eyes. She was not crying because of her insecurity. She was crying because she was in a relationship she didn't know if she wanted.

 

**twtwtwtwtw**

Stiles helped his father get into bed. He had enjoyed four beers and a football game too much. He placed the cover over him as he began to clean up the living room. The reason he came back was for this man.

He wanted him to know that he was there for him the way he was for his mother. Being the child of his divorced parents caused this bitterness in him. Not only because he wished they were back together but because the two never remarried. Sure they each dated but nothing for too long. It was where he learned how to fear commitment. People don't last. Only memories.

No one was perfect. Not even the five foot three, fair skinned, strawberry blonde with green eyes. Her soft touch replayed in his mind. The only memorable thing that happened here was her.

"Lydia." He said her name slowly. The sound of it caused a light grin to fall on his face. She was the only the woman who made him feel like he wasn't alone. Like they weren't like his parents. He had to get a grip. Lydia wasn’t real. Neither was her touch.

"You know that you don't have to look out for me." Stiles stopped cleaning up when he heard his father's voice.

"Dad it's not a problem."

"Says my son who drowns himself in me and his mom's problems so he won't have to focus on his own life."

"I learn from you after all." Stiles said regretting it immediately. But it was true.

"I know that's why I'm telling you that balance is needed in your life. Go dating. There are nice girls your age here." He stood by his son. He was the product of him and his mother after all.

"You only want a grandson. Hold your horses, I got plenty enough time for that." Stiles was rewarded by a smile.

"What's wrong with wanting to see my son in love and married. Accomplishing something I couldn't do."

"what's that."

"never letting go." He hugged him.

 

**twtwtwtwtw**

Lydia ruffled the wrinkles out her strapless green party dress. Jordan was still pretending to not be mad at her answer. That was what she hated most about this relationship. All she wanted was for him to yell at her. It was odd but she just wanted to see other emotions. Kissing his forehead, her phone rang. Allison was here.

"I know you are mad at me but can we please have a good night tonight?" She begged.

"yeah." He searched for his wallet. They both knew he was lying.

Jordan watched her leave his apartment. How long could he wait for her to decide? Was he not good for her? He knew she loved him but what was holding her back? As of lately she was distant. It felt like every kiss was an obligation. He thought he could convince her otherwise but it wasn't working. He was tired of pretending he didn't see it. Taking a deep breath he did his best not to cry. Right now he could barely look at her.

Allison noticed her sister staring out the window with a somber look. It only meant one thing.

"Sorry he didn't take it well." She stopped at the street light. Lydia continued to remain quiet. "He'll get over it. I mean he is coming tonight isn't he?"

"Yeah. I came with you because i figured he needed a break from me. He says he's not upset but I know he is." She stared at her phone. He usually texted her when he left the house.

"It's not like he doesn't have the right to be. I mean you did……"

"I know what I did. I'm a horrible girlfriend." Allison laughed loudly as she drove. Her friend was going to have to learn relationships weren't black and white.

"It's ironic Dr. Lydia Martin knows everything about numbers but you are still clueless about relationships. Sweetie you are a great girlfriend. You just handled the situation wrong. You guys are in a funk but it will die soon. It happens." She pulls in the already half filled parking lot.

"Allison you don't get it." She wiped her eyes.

"then tell me because I'm your friend. I won't tell Jordan if that's what you think." She grabbed her hand.

"I want what you have Allison. I want to have a husband who I can grow with. Create this empire with."

"Well then call him and tell you that you made a mistake. This is the first step to getting what you truly want. We discussed this already.” Allison said as the two walked inside the little pub.

 

**twtwtwtwtwtwtw**

Stiles looked at the typical brick building. Like any pub, this would be a place where he could relax and meet new people. He sighed when Parrish didn't return his call. That wasn't like him. Hopefully he was inside listening to the loud music playing.

Unfortunately, he was wrong. Walking around the bar he was not able to spot him in the crowd. Then this feeling returned to him. This warmth that felt like home. Maybe it was the soothing music playing. The dim lights and laughter from the people in the booths and tables.

Lydia stood in the crowd of others around the stage. She stared in envy as Allison kissed her husband of one year before his band got ready to play another song. She and Scott were a beautiful couple who were the ideal partnership. But she wanted her own. Everything was in her grasp. She was not going to let her fear overpower her judgement. Swallowing her nerve she attempted to go to the restroom....

"You alright?" Allison held her hand. Moments like these she hated because she didn't mean to flaunt her marriage in her face like this.

No she wasn't alright. Jordan wasn't here. And she had a feeling he wasn't coming. It was his way of punishing her. He always made these no verbal actions.

"Yeah. I'm gonna just go call Jordan." She walked through the crowd. Gripping her phone she didn't realize she dropped her wristlet.

Stiles hated how Jordan left him hanging like this. 12:15 and still no show. He was on his way to the exit until he noticed a red head. No a strawberry blonde with long hair that flowed down her back. Like the woman in his dreams. Keyword dreams. As in the opposite of reality. This was a sign he needed to get a life outside work. He sighed as she dropped her wristlet.

"great." He quickly picked it up quickly. Following her from afar in the huge crowd. Since when did all these people show up? Not that he couldn't see why because the band was phenomenal.

Lydia was on a mission but she couldn't shake this feeling. This unrecognizable yet familiar feeling. Stopping in her tracks, she turned around gasping and rubbing her eyes. This couldn't be who she thought it was. But as he came closer, her eyes did not deceive her.

Stiles legs grew heavy as he got closer to her. He knew this woman and her body. He could not describe what he felt when she turned around. Her eyes flickered as if she was trying to make sense of it too. Thankfully, they were in the back of the bar out of everyone's sight.

Time stood still as their stare could not be broken. Was this another dream? Their eyes scanned each other, taking in each other’s features they admired. Trying to answer this simple question. No this couldn’t be possible.

"You dropped your purse." He finally said after three minutes of staring at her lips, bright eyes and perfect eyebrows. His hands shook as he gave it to her.

Lydia tried to open her mouth but words were not forming. All she could focus on was his gentle features and cute moles. Memorizing his dark eyes, she took a step closer to him. This was him in the flesh.

"Stiles?" He nodded.

"Lydia?" She nodded.

they both tried their best to wrap their minds around this. She gripped her wristlet to stop herself from touching him. But he did not. His fingers lightly cupped her beautiful porcelain face. Their eyes glistened from the innocent satisfaction of finally being together.

"I can't believe you’re real."He rested his head against hers. Their hearts swelled.

"I thought you were only in my dreams." Her green eyes sparkled as she shook too. "This doesn't make sense."She kept repeating.

She had Jordan. Yes she had someone because this was reality. And in reality people don't dream about eachother before they meet. They don't just go with the certainty in their gut. No matter how good it felt when Stiles touched her....

"Lydia did you call your boyfriend?" The two jumped apart. Allison got worried. She had been gone for 10 minutes. And judging from the intimate look on their faces her sister didn't make the call. Who the hell was this guy?

"No." She felt her blush deepen as Stiles became discouragesd. Of course she had a boyfriend.

"And you are?" Allison asked obnoxiously.

"Stiles stilinski." He rubbed the back of his head. Just like that his felt his heart literally break.

“Stiles?” Allison looked accusingly at Lydia as she recognized the name.

Lydia plunged the knife deeper into her own heart. This wasn’t a coincidence.

"Do you work with Jordan Parrish?" Lydia put the pieces together as he nodded. He already figured it out.

"So you are Parrish ' s girl? He told me I would meet you here tonight." Allison watched the two as she saw the look of regret on Lydia's face. Why was it there? She hardly knew him unless this wasn’t her first encounter with him. No wonder why she was really conflicted.

"Yes. She is. She's clearly taken." Allison grabbed her hand taking her out the pub.

Lydia understood why she did it, but she was annoyed by her friend’s meddling.

"I can't believe you just did that. You treated me like a child." Lydia firmly said.

"What you mean is thanks for saving me from making a mistake I would regret in the morning." Allison yelled back. "I know you're grown but..."

"No. Thanks. I know I must look bad to you...." She couldn’t believe what she wanted to do.

"Lydia you can never look bad to me. I will always support you when you need it and kick you in the ass when you need that too." Allison hugged her.

Lydia did her best to digest this. Stiles was the new detective that worked closely to Jordan. And she was soon to be Jordan's live in girlfriend. Was the universe punishing her too?

How could Stiles not have known this? The woman of his dreams was with another man. His boss. It didn't matter if her eyes told him she was single she wasn’t.

She was not single.


	3. Breathe Your Name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Breathe Your Name- Sixpence None the Richer

_He grabbed her hand. Her delicate hand that fit perfectly in his. The lights were dim as the music played in the pub. He pulled her to him as she rested her head on his chest. Swaying to the soothing sounds, the people around them did not exist. Only them. He memorized her smell. Sweet strawberries and honey._

_"This feels good." Stiles moved his hands around her waist. Lydia could not deny what he whispered in her ear. Her legs almost buckled at his smooth tone._

_She tried to hide her desire to kiss him. To Love him. But her eyes told him. She had to separate herself from him. Moving her hands from his back, he only held her closer._

_"I'm not letting you go. I can't." He knew she felt the same._

_"Then don’t." Her assertive tone scared her. This was a young woman acting like an impulsive school girl. Forgetting her relationship and morals she trusted in. This was so wrong._

_This man was dangerous. And she found herself wanting to risk everything she had to be with him._

_Somehow a pair of green eyes rendered him powerless. He made sure there was no reluctance. The fear that she would push him away made him shake. Licking his lips, he took what was his._

_Allison was wrong. She did not regret this.they laughed as their tongues played for dominance. Stiles won as his fingers played in her hair. Hers were on his biceps. Trying to keep herself balanced as she gently bit his bottom lip....._

"damn." Stiles accidentally spilled a little gas on himself. How could his mind drift off so quickly while at the gas station? But he kept reliving the same dream he had last night.

This morning, he woke up wondering how he could look Parrish in the eye tomorrow. Stiles didn't know when he became the man who wanted another man's woman. Last night, when he saw Lydia it was clear they were supposed to be together. These dreams were proof of a bond they both shared.

What else was the word for two people having a connection of this magnitude. That kiss finally happened. It meant he was the one she wanted. Not Parrish. He became jealous of his boss. But who was he to be arrogant. Their bond didn't mean anything. He didn't know her like Jordan. He couldn't hold her when she was scared or give her advice when she needed it. Not that she would want his anyway. She was brilliant. He just knew it.

"Great another misfortune." The pump required him to pay inside rather than use his card.

 

**twtwtwtwtwtwtwtw**

Lydia was ignoring Allison's waiting eyes as she unleaded her fury on the punching bag. She was grateful her sister was an accomplished martial artist. However her lessons weren't free either. At least she got a discount. She didn't mind; it was good stress reliever.

"Come on Lydia." Allison instructed. "Unleash your sexual frustrations on the bag." Lydia immediately stopped, giving her an annoyed look.

"I'm not judging." Allison hoped she believed her. Though the two shared everything, it wasn't her business if she met someone intentionally or not while with Jordan.

"You just feel the need to give your not-needed opinion on my life." Lydia exploded.

Her sister was her rock but she didn't want to admit aloud how she slept at her own apartment last night. And that she kept dreaming about kissing Stiles. The image of them together when she woke her was infuriating. Screaming and kicking was a result of it. She was emotionally cheating on her boyfriend.

"I'm sorry Als. You don't deserve the backlash of my frustrations." She accepted the water bottle.

"look I'm not going to lie. I do want to know how you and Stiles met. But just so you know you wouldn't be the first to be tempted." Lydia's eyes widened at the revelation.

"who?" Lydia was glad her friend was speaking from personal experience.

"Here's the deal. If I tell you, you tell me about stiles."

"You wouldn't believe me." Lydia didn't believe it herself.

"Lyds come on. I still believe in vampires, werewolves and wendigos. But anyway the guy was Isaac." Lydia had a feeling something happened between her and the cute ex- employee.

"Nothing happened. I would never do that to Scott. But I had to let it be known that I wanted my marriage to work. That’s why he quit. So the question is do you want it to work with Jordan?"

"Yes. I can't throw what I have with him away for some guy I just met." She didn't know if she was lying to herself.

"That doesn't make sense. How can you be dreaming of a guy you just yesterday? You said his name when you woke up remember."

"Please just listen. I don't want to hear your speculation about me being a psychic." Allison remained silent as she continued. "I have seen him many of times but only in my dreams. I know it is crazy buy it's true. I can't get them to stop." She panicked.

"Lydia. I believe you." Her eyes spoke the truth.

"but why? I can barely believe it when it comes out my mouth. Last night was the first time I met him in person."

Lydia was right this story was beyond unbelievable. But being friends with Lydia was a series of unbelievable events. This girl had some latent abilities. Always predicting when something good or bad was about to happen.

"Well if that's the case. How did it feel?" Lydia thought. If she couldn't be honest with her friend then who could she be honest with?

"Like I was alive. But I know I shouldn't trust it. I'm going to be with Jordan." She didn't know if she was assuring her friend or herself.

All she needed was for him to answer his phone.

 

**twtwtwtw**

Stiles had nothing better to do but jog his frustrations away. He had no other excuse but to get used to seeing Parrish and Lydia together at random. Why hadn't he ran into her before? Grabbing his ipod, he attached it to his arm. He looked at the lush park.

This place was more beautiful than the city. His attention was broken as guy pulled up on a motorcycle. He couldn't help but watch the man take off his helmet.

"Dude. Your tank is opened." The guy informed Stiles.

"Thanks man." He awkwardly said as the other guy stared at him curiously.

"You're that new detective that everyone in the hospital has been talking about." He saw the badge in his cup holder.

"I hope it's good." Stiles tensed.

"Are you kidding me? It’s awesome. My mom works there. Nurse Melissa McCall. She brags about how you always solve investigations with some of the patients. I'm Scott McCall. Dr. McCall but I'm not one of those who has to be called by it."

"Stiles Stilinski. Your mom is really sweet. She's a legend at the hospital." He was meeting people around every corner.

"When she wants to be." He teased. "Did you need some company?”

"Wouldn't hurt?" The two began their run. Nothing like some friendly competition. "So what do you do?"

"I'm a veterinarian. My wife owns one of the dojos here."

"Cool. Wait.” He took a good look at him. “Are you the guitarist from last night?"

"Yep. It's my favorite pass time. Been doing it since high school."

"So how do you fit being a vet and rock star in your busy life?" Stiles finally had someone around his age to really talk to. Someone who liked his weirdness and awkwardness.

"Balance. The band performs twice a month. I have most of my weekends off." He explained.

"Scott. You are officially my hero. You can be an awesome husband. Don't tell me your aren't because you are. You can also heal animals. Plus you can play a mean guitar. You're like the protagonist in a comic book." The two laughed.

"Let me guess you are a big Star Wars fan?" Scott concluded as he heard Stiles' elation towards comic books.

"Hell yeah. You?"

"Nope." Stiles stopped in his tracks as Scott realized he wasn't beside him.

"How the hell can you not like it? It’s one of the greatest stories told. Dude we can't be friends if you don't like it."

"So that's the deal breaker?" Scott enjoyed his dry humor. It balanced his calm nature.

"Guess not." He nudged him. "Besides you're officially my new best friend."

"I assumed it would be Jordan." Scott saw he struck a nerve.

"He's good but my dad always said never be friends with your boss." He shrugged it off.

This was supposed to keep his mind of of Lydia. But everything came back to her. As the wind blew, he saw her twirl playfully. Her hair shining in the sunlight…..

"He would know." The two continued their route as Scott observed his weariness. What happened between him and Parrish?

 

**twtwtwtwtw**

Lydia made sure her braid was perfect. Jordan's favorite hairstyle. Folding her lips, he saw his car in the parking lot. She really messed up. Unlocking his door, she realized she was going to be a slave to her choice.

He laid there wrapped in a blanket on the couch. Lydia did not speak of the empty pizza boxes and coke bottles on the ground. His eyes widened when she came inside. Great, now she was going to break up with him in person.

"So do you want this key because I would love to keep it?" She saw his eyes glow of happiness. “That is if the offer still stands?”

Jordan was surprised to see her here. He assumed they were over. That she had changed her mind about them when he stood her up and she didn't come back last night. Not that he would blame her. He acted childishly.

She sat on the couch. Waiting for him to speak first. They both did wrongs they wanted to make right.

"Yes. Of course. If you can forgive me for being a jackass." He hugged her. What did he do to deserve this woman?

"It's already forgotten." She kissed him.

"No Lydia. I was wrong. I left you alone." He admired her forgiving heart.

"I wasn't alone babe. I was with Allison and Scott." She laid on his chest.

"Why are you so amazing? You shouldn't be giving me a second chance."

"but I did." She touched his cheek seeing stiles' face. If only he knew that she was the one not deserving a second chance. This was the worst time for her to be envisioning another man's face on the man she truly wanted.

"It's Stilinski I need to forgive me now. I hate that I didn't make his night worthwhile." Lydia did her best to relax her body at the mention of Stiles. Like she had never kissed him. Felt his strong hands on his body.

Wait she didn’t. That was only in her dream. Which meant Stiles had it too. Which meant….

"you probably saw him and didn't even realize it. His name is Stiles and he a pretty funny guy." Jordan laughed as as Lydia bit her lip to keep from crying.

laying on his chest she prayed he was not looking down at her. She took a deep breath when she felt him kiss her forehead. She could do this. Stiles was soon to be a forgoten memory.

“I missed you.” Lydia kissed him. “I want to be here with you. I’m sorry it took me so long to see that.” Her lustful eyes bored into his.

She tried to block Stiles from her mind as she took off his shirt. Kissing him, she felt Stiles’ tongue in her mouth. His lips on her neck. His hands unbuttoning her shirt. No. No.

This wasn’t working.

 


	4. Boston

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boston- Augustana

She gripped the steering wheel tightly, resting her head on it.

 

Jordan loved her with every fiber of his being. What just happened was confirmation. But how could she be irresponsible? Tears fell as she relived the torture of his hands on her body. And she felt obligated not to stop him. Especially with how he had so much love in his eyes. Saying sweet nothings during and after. This had to work.

 

Turning on the ignition, she headed home. She hated the person she turned into. This manipulative woman who took advantage of someone because she was scared of feeling what she felt. And she didn’t even know what she felt. Lying to herself was becoming a hobby of hers.

 

She didn’t know what she felt for Stiles. Her life right now didn’t make sense. If it hadn’t been for him, she could have been happy with Jordan. Heck, maybe even engaged in the next month. Now, she was becoming one of those people who was throwing blame on everyone else when she was the one responsible. She put the gun against her own head to sleep with and move in with Jordan. She couldn’t take anything back now.

 

“Damnit Stiles.” She yelled as she drove over a pothole. Hard. “O great.” She felt the air in one of her back tires lessen. Pulling over on the side of the road, she was grateful Jordan taught her how to change a tire. He was the one for her not Stiles.

The more she said it, maybe she would believe it.

 

To bad it was in front of public place where people saw her. Flat tires were a part of life but was still embarrassing. Opening her truck, her stomach began to knot. Ignoring it, she began to look for her jack.

 

**TWTWTWTWTWTWT**

 

Allison admired her husband while he examined the puppy. Nothing like a surprise visit to brighten Scott’s mood. His eight-hour shifts at the animal clinic were sporadic. Days. Nights. Sometimes he was working with others, and sometimes he was working by himself. Today it was the latter. Regardless, she was here to keep him company while her employees ran her business.

 

“So, Chinese for your break?” Scott gave her a sweet smile. Preparing the needle, he rubbed the puppy’s head as he administered the Rabies shot.

 

“At a boy. I hope it doesn’t hurt too badly?” The dog muttered as Allison watched in awe. Every day she fell more madly in love with him.

 

“Chinese is fine babe.” He retuned the dog to its’ happy owner. “But won’t it spoil our dinner party tonight?

 

“Your break is at 4. The gathering isn’t until 10. Actually we may not have one, I left messages on both Jordan and Lydia’s phones because they didn’t answer.” She shrugged. “Hopefully they will be there.”

 

“So why are you so adamant about them coming over?” He read her unsettling body language.

 

“Lydia’s personal life is kind of in an uproar.” She bit her lip hoping he wouldn’t ask any more questions, but she knew he would.

 

“Is everything alright? Does she need money…”

 

“No I just want to give my friend a good time. She needs to be surrounded by people who love her. Not the noise from the crowd or band.” She said.

 

“So that means you know the real reason but won’t tell me.” He figured. “Well just so you know, I invited another guy. Stiles Stilinski.” He paused as Allison gasped loudly. “What I met him this morning when I went for a jog. He’s pretty cool. Well cool in a odd way but chill.”

 

“Are you out of your fricken mind? You have got to kidding me Scott. How could you?” She yelled.

 

“I. What. How. What did I do?” He stuttered. “I didn’t know it was an exclusive invitation for just them.” She ignored his scared expression.

 

“Scott. Why didn’t you tell me?” Allison began to panic. Lydia is going to hate her guts for life.

 

“Because it’s my house too.” He blandly said as Allison playfully hit him. “Am I missing something here? I didn’t even know you knew this guy? Did he try to hit on you?” Scott clenched his fists. He hoped he would come tonight then

 

“No. O God no.” She stated. “But maybe my best….”

 

“He hit on Lydia.” Scott finished, trying to hide his curious expression. Why didn’t he tell her?

 

“Intense.” That was the only word to describe this situation. “Ow.” Allison pinched him. Rolling her eyes as Scott began to use his imagination of the two together.

 

He would never say it aloud, but this was really juicy. And it wasn’t like Lydia wanted to spend the rest of her life with Parrish like she wanted everyone to believe. He saw through it, but he knew Allison and Jordan didn’t because they were too close.

 

“I can tell him to come another time. Or better yet, we can cancel the whole thing and not meddle.” He hoped she would choose the latter.

 

“How about the first one.” Allison said firmly.

 

**TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWT**

 

Stiles hated that in this town his bad luck to good luck ratio was 10 to 1. Now it was his phone that suffered. He didn’t know how clumsy he was until he dropped it in his coffee while he was enjoying a book at the local café’. So much for a relaxing day off. What else could happen?

 

He learned to never ask that question again. That tingling sensation returned to his body. The same that appeared anytime Lydia was with him. It only meant she was near. And he had to fight it because of Jordan. Drying off his phone, he grabbed his things and left. But it seemed as if the one thing he was running from was in front of him.

 

“No. no. no.” Lydia pulled the jack from her trunk.

 

The knots in her stomach deepened. Stiles was near. Which meant that she had to hurry and finish this. She didn’t want to see him. Talk to him. Dream about him. She just wanted this nightmare to end.

 

Stiles gripped his phone as he head towards his car. He knew she saw him, but wanted nothing to do with him. He could take a hint. Heading to his car, he grew furious at her. He wished he could turn his emotions off like her, but he couldn’t. And just because she was lying to herself didn’t mean he had to.

 

“Lydia.” Stiles kept repeating as she kept working with a scowl on her face. He admired her as she used the jack to raise her car. “So you are just going to pretend that I don’t exist.”

 

It pissed her off how she could not be angry at him. It pissed her off how she was tempted to jump on him. kiss him again.

 

“Let me help you.” He got beside her. Trying to grab the wrench to unscrew the lug nuts.

 

“I got it. I don’t need you.” She spat back.

 

“I’m only trying to help. You don’t have to bite my head off.” He challenged her. “You’re mad at me but it’s not my fault this is happening. I can’t control it either.” His voice laced with anger and disappointment.

 

“Control what?” She refused to look at him. Her concentration was broken with him here.

 

How was it that he was the only one with good sense now?

 

“So you don’t want to talk about it. That’s fine. But let me help with your tire because you need it.” She huffed as she handed him the wrench.

 

Her lips should be swollen as much as she bit them. Hugging herself, she admired how he took control. Her anger didn’t stop him. More like her childishness didn’t stop him.

 

“All done.” He handed her the wrench as he grabbed a rag from her trunk. His heart hurt as he saw the distance she had between them.

 

“Thank you.” She said. He said nothing as he reached for her hands.

 

Wiping the dirt off her hands, her scowl was replaced by a gentle smile. She enjoyed his touch as he enjoyed touching her. He moved a strand of her hair behind her ear.

 

Lydia should have stopped him, but his hand in hers left her vulnerable. She held her breath as his thumb played with the palm of her hand. Gently moving along each finger. She was hypnotized by his eyes.

“This isn’t done Lydia. We need to talk about this.” He reasoned.

 

“There is nothing to talk about Stiles.” She tried to walk to the driver’s side of the car, oblivious to the oncoming traffic.

 

“Lydia. Are you ok?” He pulled her to him as oncoming cars passed.

He cupped her face. His breath on her lips again. She almost gave in again.

 

“No. I’m desperate to get away from you.” She pushed him.

 

“This isn’t going to work with me. You starting an argument to hide what you really want to say.” He stood his ground as Lydia broke.

 

“Fine. You want to talk about it? These dreams. But it’s nothing to talk about. I’m with Parrish.” She pulled herself away.

 

She was responsible for the pain in his eyes. It was as if he was always in her life, because his pain was real. She was breaking this man without remorse.

 

“I get that. I do. But don’t deny that there isn’t something between us.”

 

“There is nothing between us Stiles. Nothing.”

 

“Stop lying. For once, show me the respect I deserve Lydia. You aren’t the only one who is scared by this.”

 

“Then why are you handling it so calmly? How come you trying to process it all? Every night I can’t wait to go to sleep because I get to see you. then I wake up angry at myself because I’m with someone else. Stiles that is how it has to be. Did you think I was going to drop my life because of this. Whatever it is we have.”

 

“I can’t believe you think that’s what they just are. They aren’t. they are just as real as this is. That kiss was…..”

 

“That kiss was only a figment of our imaginations. It didn’t happen. Jordan loves me. End of discussion. Now we don’t have to talk about this again. You can go your way and I can go mine.” She slammed her car door as she drove off.

 

Lydia watched him from her rear-view mirror. It was like her heart was being ripped out her chest. But she wanted Jordan. She know she did. And this bond or connection had to be broken. Her iron will would not allow anything else.

 

Stiles dug his hands through his hair. This excruciating pain was better than feeling nothing at all. He just chose the most stubborn woman to fall for. Who was he to tell her that she was wrong with Jordan? That she wanted him and not the sheriff. Maybe he didn’t belong here like he thought he had. Maybe he should just leave.

 

**TWTWTWTWTW**

Scott was grateful Allison left thirty minutes ago. Because she would have kicked Stiles’ ass the minute he got out his jeep. Smiling at him, he couldn’t have picked a better wife. Allison the huntress. He would love to see that battle. Stiles would lose hands down.

 

But unlike this morning, Stiles’ eyes held a hidden sadness in them.

 

“How did you find me?” Scott received a bland look from his new friend. “O right. You’re a detective. It’s what your job consists of.”

 

At least Lydia acknowledged that this wasn’t all in his head. Even if acted like it didn’t mean anything to her, he knew it did. But maybe she was right. People had the right to choose the kind of life they wanted. And she wanted a safe life with Parrish. The amazing sheriff who gave his all for the ones he loved. He almost cried as he saw them married with beautiful strawberry blonde and brunette children.

 

“Yeah.” He knew this was an impulsive decision, but what he felt was unhealthy. “I didn’t want to waste your time. And I should have called you but long story short, my phone is permanently dead. So I couldn’t call you.” He babbled as Scott waited for him to finish.

 

“Look. I can’t come tonight. Actually this might be my last week here. I’m thinking about transferring.” Scott’s baffled expression definitely confirmed his irrational decision.

 

“Dude. You can’t do that. Think of your father’s legacy here. I mean my mom was actually going to make you brownies. There are lot of people who depend on you. even me.” He reassured. Relief rushed through him when he didn’t have to make up a lie as to why he wasn’t invited tonight.

 

“Scott thanks but we just met, I’m sure you will be alright.” Stiles took a deep breath as he noticed his ring. He wished he had a woman who he could call home.

 

“So what is the reason you are moving?” He couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

 

“This is a really small town and its not working out for me the way I thought it would.” It was a good explanation. Hopefully, his father wouldn’t be too disappointed in him. But he knew he would.

 

His father finally had him to himself and he was going to lose him again. But if he stayed he couldn’t bear being this close to Lydia, if he moved then she could live her life happily. And he could live his.

 

Scott knew he was lying. But who was he to pry. He couldn’t help but feel bad for him. To be really attracted to a girl and you cant act on it fully. Especially when your boss is the competition.

 

“I know we haven’t been friends for too long, but I think you should give Beacon Hills another shot.” Scott touched his arm.

 

Stiles smiled sadly. At least he could leave saying he had met one good person here.

 


	5. Run Me Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Run Me Out- Zola Jesus

What was a good way to tell your dad something you knew he wouldn’t approve of? The answer was simple. Take him for a walk down memory lane. To bad his father’s favorite place was not public. And out of habit, both carried guns in their vehicles. Stiles was being dramatic, it would not get that intense but his mind conjured all of these possibilities of how he was going to tell him.

 

Stiles remembered these walks through the woods. Where the two would skip rocks in the lake. This would never get old. The weather was perfect. The sun was out but not too bright. No cloud in the sky. And his father looked out at the beautiful scenery. Waiting for Stiles to speak.

 

“Did something happen to your mom Stiles?” Stilinski touched his shoulder. “You never want to go here unless you have something important to tell me.” Stiles took a deep breath, collecting his thoughts.

 

“Dad. You know Beacon Hills isn’t going to be my permanent resting place right? I mean I do want to go out and explore the world.”

 

“Stiles, don’t be so dramatic, you can take a vacation regardless. We’ve had this conversation millions of times.” He saw his son’s distraught expression.

 

“I won’t need to take a vacation if I put in a transfer.” He distanced himself from the man. Like a child, he sensed his father’s tenseness. He was about to explode.

 

“You did this without talking to me first?” Birds flew away at the sound of his hard voice.

 

“Dad I’m a grown man. I can do what do things without your permission.” Stilinksi knew his son was right.

 

“You’re right son. But I was the reason that you came here, so I was hoping that if you decided to leave you would tell me first before you did.” He let out a frustrated sigh.

 

“Dad, I didn’t put it in yet. I’m just thinking.”

 

“There is nothing to think about Stiles. You stay here because you have unfinished business. And this doesn’t sound like you.” He rubbed his temples.

 

“Dad why is it that you have to analyze everything I say?” He hated how he wasn’t as good of a liar as he thought.

 

“Only when it doesn’t make sense. You were learning how to be content here. You were able to solve enough cases to keep yourself busy. Now all of a sudden it’s not good enough?” He waited for Stiles to speak. “What’s the real reason Stiles? Is Parrish mistreating because if he is I will make his life a living hell?” Stiles laughed sadly.

 

If only he knew.

 

“No dad honest.”

 

“So then are you running away from something?” Stilinski watched his unsettled demeanor.

 

“Dad, I just feel out of place here. “ His father touched his shoulder. Trying to make all his discouragement go away.

 

“Stiles, please don’t leave. Can you give it another month? I will be devastated if you do. Just seems like now you are choosing to leave rather than when you were little and obligated by your mother. I know I sound selfish but it would be good to be around you longer than usual.”

 

“Dad, don’t do this? Don’t give me those big puppy dog eyes and that Oscar speech to try and persuade me.”

 

“Why not? Seriously Stiles, I need you and want you here.” He hugged him.

 

How could Stiles leave now?

 

**TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW**

 

There were ways to break an emotional connection.

 

Step One: Focus on the big picture with your boyfriend.

 

That was Jordan. He looked so handsome in his button down shirt and khaki pants. Of course she picked the shirt.

 

Step Two: Do your best to not feel suffocated by his touch.

 

In the beginning, she loved his sweet kisses. Now she could live without them.

 

Finally, Step Three: Push Stiles Stilinski out of your mind.

 

Not only was she manipulative, but conniving. How those hurtful words spewed from her mouth. She regretted her actions the minute she drove off. She could never forgive herself for hurting him that way.

 

And it was taking away from this supposed to be great night with her friends and boyfriend. Allison cooked a great dinner for them and she couldn’t enjoy it. Time passed so fast. And they were reliving memories together, but she remained silent.

 

“Babe, you alright?” Jordan kissed her cheek as the three ate and talked. “It’s like your mind is a mile away.” The three of them looked at her with concern.

 

“I’m fine you guys. Just that midterms are coming up and I always am so critical of my abilities to teach. It’s cliché but I am teaching future engineers, doctors,…..”

 

“Only you would take your job too seriously.” Jordan kissed her forehead as Allison and Scott remained silent. She had gotten better as a liar also.

 

Scott hated to admit this, but them together didn’t feel right to him. Not that he had the right to analyze another couple’s relationship, but how long could Lydia play this game? She was going to woke up ten years later and realize she made a mistake. Even if Stiles wasn’t the right guy for her, that didn’t mean Jordan was good for her either.

 

“Scott. Allison. What’s wrong?” Jordan looked at the three. Once again, he felt like the odd one out. He knew it took a while for them to get used to him since the three had been friends since high school. And technically, he was still the new boyfriend.

 

“Nothing.” The couple said in synchronicity. Drinking their wine swiftly. Was something going on he didn’t know about? Was Lydia harboring some secret? No. She told him everything. At least he thought. He knew when she was lying.

 

“They are making fun of me because they accuse me of never taking a break.” She played it off well.

 

“Well they are right.” He said as his phone rang. “Whatever it is. It can wait.” He ignored the call.

 

“I don’t think it can babe.” His phone kept ringing.

 

“Give me a minute babe.” He walked in the other room as Allison and Scott gave her an all-knowing look. Of course, Allison told her husband.

 

“Shut-up.” She whispered, wanting to poke their judgmental eyes out. Was she that obvious? That was the stupidest question she could have asked herself.

 

“Babe. I got to go. Someone tried to break into the convenience store again.”

 

“But you are off today.” Lydia stated.

 

“What about the detective?” Allison nudged Scott for the comment. Was he that stupid to mention Stiles.

 

“Stilinski has enough cases overwhelming him. Besides I do owe him a favor for standing him up. Anyways, it won’t be that hard with the security camera. Hopefully it’s kids trying to be mischievous.”

 

“We can drive Lydia home.” Allison said. Lydia knew she was in for it.

 

“Thanks Als.” He kissed Lydia. “See you tonight.”

 

“Are you sure you can do this?” Allison watched Lydia watch Jordan leave. A look of relief on her face. This was her friend, and she didn’t want to judge her. But it was so hard not to. At least she wasn’t married. She just hated how Jordan was being short-handed.

 

“Allison, I’m not a baby. I’m fine.” The two got into her car.

 

“Alright.”

 

“And thanks for telling Scott about it too.” Her sarcasm hurt Allison’s feelings.

 

“You know what Lydia, Scott’s my husband. And I can tell him anything I want to. This isn’t my fault you know. You said you chose Jordan, so choose him and accept the consequences. And don’t try to gain pity for it. Grow the hell up.” She spat back as Lydia nodded. That was why she loved her sister.

 

“To be honest though, you won’t have a problem with him anymore because he is moving. Scott met him today and it came up in conversation. So your problems are solved.”

 

What?

 

“Yeah.” Lydia hid her panic. She was crazy for wanting him here and gone at the same time. “Good riddance.”

 

This was great. Her troubles were over. No more Stiles. Ever. Which meant no more would she hear his voice. Or see his face. Pulling her hair, she hated herself. She could not have her cake and eat it too. And if he was leaving, she wanted him to leave with no animosity towards her. Her eyes landed on Jordan’s laptop.

 

Grabbing it, she looked through his contacts. He always updated his information. Bingo. Looking at the address, she bit her nails. She hadn’t done that since middle school. What would she tell Jordan if he came back and she wasn’t here? Better yet, what would she tell Stiles if she actually went to see him?

 

**TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW**

 

Stiles stared at the ceiling. He had work early and he couldn’t settle his nerves. Also, he knew if he slept, he would dream of Lydia. It still wasn’t too late to run off in the night. Right now he would have some snarky, sarcastic remark. But he had nothing and no one. And he couldn’t tell his parents the real reason. Even if he could, they were always worried about his emotional state. They blamed themselves because of the divorce still to this day.

 

_Knock, knock_

 

His body stiffened. Maybe if he kept ignoring it, it would stop. Growling, he got out of bed, looking through the peephole. Lydia. He would be a fool to let her in. Besides, she said everything she needed to say.

 

“Stiles. I know you are behind the door.” She kept knocking. Not even thinking that someone would see them together. She did deserve to be ignored. Taking a deep breath, she placed her hand on his door. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for how I mistreated you. It was wrong and selfish of me. As of lately I’ve become this unsure little girl who’s been running with her head cut off. And that’s not right to you. I just want you to know that I’m not that kind of person. I’m not….” She pleaded.

 

He listened to her on the other side. He knew she wasn’t like this. But he had brought it out of her unintentionally. If he were in her same shoes, he would do it too. Parrish deserves all of her.

 

“I heard about you leaving. And I don’t even know why I’m here. You don’t have to open the door, I just wanted to apologize for making your life a living hell.” She meant those words.

 

“How did you find out?” He opened the door. He was standing in front of a goddess with gorgeous curls and bright red lips, with a dress to show off her toned legs. Moving out her way, she walked in. Admiring his simple, yet furnished apartment.

 

She hugged herself. Her nerves would not allow her to sit down on his sofa. Not saying he wanted her to touch anything of his.

 

“Through Scott McCall, he is like my brother. And he’s married to Allison. That was the brunette I was with at the club.”

 

“O.” Stiles watched her hug herself. She was obviously cold. Handing her a blanket, he made sure distance was between them. “Well just so you know I’m not moving, so sorry to break your heart.” He saw her eyes hide their sparkle.

 

The two didn’t know if it were a blessing or a curse. Lydia was so angry till she was happy. He wasn’t leaving her.

 

“But I’m going to honor your wish. You want nothing to do with me. So I will stay away from you.” He was waiting for her to tell him no. but it never came.

 

“Please don’t get mad when I ask you this. Did you want to leave because of me?” She bit her tongue as his whole demeanor changed. How could she be so inconsiderate?

 

“Is that why you came? To boost your ego” He hard tone sharked them both. “to give yourself satisfaction in knowing that you hurt me.”

 

“No.” She cursed herself.

 

“Then why ask that question? You don’t even know me but you hate me that much? Lydia I did nothing wrong to deserve the crap you gave me today.”

 

“You’re right.” She touched his arm.

 

“Don’t patronize me.” He pulled away from her.

 

“I’m not. Everything that I do and say to you is wrong. And I hate it because you aren’t the only that suffers, I do too. I just want to be…..”

 

“To be happy by everyone’s standards but your own.” He finished her sentence.

 

“Shut up. You don’t even know me or my relationship with Jordan.” She bit.

 

“you’re right I don’t, but if you have the nerve to asked why I’m leaving and you already know why. Then I have the right to speak my mind. You’ve been selfish this whole entire time. Why cant I?” Lydia refused to look his in the eyes.

 

He was right but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

 

“I can’t believe I came here to make peace with you. It’s like nothing pleases you.”

 

“You didn’t come here to make peace Lydia.” He battled. He was sick of her mind games. “You came because you wanted to see me. There, I said it for you. I opened the door because I wanted to see you too. Maybe if we just stop running from it…..”

 

“Maybe if you stop thinking that you know everything about me. You and Jordan are just alike.”

 

“Don’t compare me to Jordan. I am nothing like him. He chooses not to see what’s in front of him. I do. I see you Lydia. But you are too busy sitting on that high pedestal of yours that you can’t accept how miserable you are.”

 

“I’m not miserable.” She yelled.

 

“Then why are you here Lydia?”

 

“Go to hell.” She pushed him as he grabbed his wrists. Both falling on the ground. Her hands on his strong chest. His on her back. Tracing circles along her spine. Their eyes apologizing to one another.

 

“Is he really what you want?” Stiles begged. He knew the truth but she had to say it.

 

“No.” She cried as he kissed her.

 

The pure joy of his lips on hers. Their dreams were only a small comparison to reality. Biting her lips, he begged for entrance with his tongue. Who was she to deny him? Sitting them up, he straddled her legs around his waist. Carrying them to his bedroom, his hands began to unzip her dress. Hers began to pull off his shirt. Placing them on his bed, he had to stop them. They weren’t truly each other’s yet. Breaking their kiss, he watched Lydia cry furiously.

 

“What did we just do?” More tears fell.

 

“Lydia. We can’t do this.” He grabbed his shirt from the floor. Never had he hated himself like this. He almost had sex, no made love to his boss’ girlfriend.

 

“I know.” She turned around so he could zip her dress.

 

She was callous because she felt no remorse for her betrayal. But if she was callous, why was she crying? Why was life so complicated? She couldn’t go to Jordan’s apartment when she left here. Checking her phone, she saw no missed calls from him. Wiping her eyes would not erase the damage she did and trust she destroyed.

 

“What was that Lydia?” He moved across the room. “Was that us getting it out of our systems?” He folded his arms. “I just wish you could give me a direct answer. At first I thought it was fear that stopped you but now I think you don’t know what you want.”

 

“I know what I want Stiles. At first I thought it was the wrong time, but its not. I don’t want to hurt Jordan. But if I don’t hurt him, then I hurt you. and ultimately me.” She played with her fingers. “What happened, I don’t regret it. I should but I don’t. “

 

“I don’t regret it either, but I don’t know what to do. How to handle this.” He sat besides her. It was torture to not touch her.

 

“Me neither. So go on and ask the question.” She waited. Jordan’s ‘I love you’ was nothing like Stiles’ ‘hello.’

 

“Are you going to leave him? Or are you just talking. I can handle it. I just don’t want to be lead on.” He said matter-of-factly.

 

Her mind told her to run away, but she didn’t have the energy. She tried so hard not to think about him and she couldn’t stop. She had to face this.

 

“I’m going to tell him. I just don’t know how. I know you can’t wait forever, but I….”She paused.

 

“There is no good ending either way. I’m dreading tomorrow. I probably wont get any sleep.” He saw the time. 1 o’clock in the morning.

 

“Me neither.” He walked her to the door. “We will figure this out. It’s not just your fault. It’s my fault too.” He kissed her.

 

“I’ll call you tomorrow.” She wiped her eyes.

 

Stiles slid on the ground. Once again, she left him. He didn’t think he could be more broken than before. Running his hands through his hair, he replayed the bittersweet moment in his mind. She said she was going to leave Jordan for him, but tomorrow was a new day. A new day where he also had to face the actions of his consequences.


	6. Skinny Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skinny Love- Birdy

Stiles did not dream because he did not go to sleep last night. He poured himself some coffee as he began to organize his case board. The fifth homicide in this town he had to solve. His twentieth in his whole career. Placing photos and post it notes on the clear board, he began to make connections with the different colored yarn. It never got old seeing a dead body and having to promise the family he would give the victim justice. So far he had not come across a cold case, he hoped this would not be one. Especially when it was the death of a 17 year old boy.

 

Releasing a sigh, he did his best to push Lydia out his mind. He gripped his mug as he saw her smeared lipstick and swollen lips. Beautiful was the only word. Her flushed cheeks were because of him. And he wanted to do it over and over again. Damn it. He was at work with Jordan and all he could do was feel her lips on his. Her tongue with his. His body against hers. Taking a deep breath, he heard him come in his office.

 

Jordan saw Stiles tense when he walked inside. He deserved that after he mistreated his detective. It was supposed to be a big brother taking a little brother under his wings, and his ego got the best of him. A humble apology was needed.

 

“Stilinski, can I speak to you for a couple of minutes?” He waited for him to turn around.

 

“Sure.” Stiles tried to act normal. Like he didn’t kiss Lydia. Like he didn’t know who she was.

 

“Look the other night. Something happened and because of that I let it throw my whole night off. I’m sorry I left you alone like that.” Jordan said. “Me and my girlfriend we had a heated discussion and…..”

 

Yes. Lydia was his girlfriend. Which meant he had no right stepping in his territory the way he did.

 

“Parrish it’s ok. It wasn’t a complete loss, I heard some real good music and ate some good food too.” He reviewed his case file.

 

“Well just so you know. I’m planning on making it up to you. My girlfriend, Lydia is moving in with me soon, and she makes a mean meatloaf.” His world crashed.

 

Lydia lied to him again.

 

And he was stupid for believing in her. What they had. But they had nothing no matter how powerful their connection was. So powerful that at times he felt emotions he knew weren’t his own. Maybe this was more one sided than he wanted to believe. And she was that evil woman taking advantage of two men.

 

“I don’t want to intrude.” He held his emotions together.

 

“You wont.” Jordan said. “She loves meeting new people and cooking. Her and her best friend Allison exchange recipes and everything. I can invite her and her husband over too….” Jordan became excited.

 

“Thanks man.” He paused. “Not to sound unappreciative, but I got to get back to this case.” Stiles gave him a soft smile.

 

“I get it. But thanks for forgiving me.” Jordan closed the door behind him.

 

“No problem.” Stiles wanted to throw all the items on his desk onto the floor. He should be the one apologizing, not him.

 

**TWTWTWTWTWTW**

 

Lydia made sure her students were aware of her tutoring hours before they were dismissed. Luckily, she got home before Jordan did. And when he came, he went straight to sleep. He was oblivious to the fact that she stayed up all night. Which meant Stiles didn’t sleep either.

 

During the night, she moved to the couch. It wasn’t fair to Jordan for her to sleep in the same bed with him. Knowing that she had fallen for a man she barely knew. That she memorized the feel of his hands on her body or the taste of his lips. How was she going to tell him?

 

Opening her laptop, she began to bite her nails. She had so many questions that she needed answers too. Like were psychic connections possible. She was desperate for searching Google and the many occurrences were uncanny. It was good to know that this wasn’t only happening to them. Licking her lips, she continued to scroll down the numerous archives. Terms like “energies” and “cords” were mindboggling. But it seemed to be common with twins and lovers in healthy relationships.

 

Apparently, they kept exchanging and transmitting signals or whatever this article said. Shutting her laptop, she grabbed her phone as it beeped.

 

Jordan: _I have a big surprise for you. Don’t come until 6 tonight._

Great. He was planning this surprise for her and she was planning on leaving him. She couldn’t let him do whatever it was he was planning.

 

_Lydia: When is your break?_

_Jordan: I really won’t have one today. I’m so busy. Everything alright?_

_Lydia: Yes._

Now what? Was she supposed to just wait until then to break his heart? It wouldn’t be right to do it at his job in front of his co-workers.

 

_Jordan: Alright. See you then._

 

Damn it.

**TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWT**

 

Allison was more than grateful to help Jordan with his plan. She hoped they could pull it off whatever it was. He didn’t have time to explain it over the phone, because suddenly he was bombarded. That was why she was here at the police station. Walking inside, she would always miss Stilinski as the sheriff. Jordan wasn’t bad. In fact, he was excellent, but Stilinski had a special place in her heart. Too bad she couldn’t say the same for his son.

 

She watch watched Stiles make a couple of calls as Jordan was busy talking to some officiers. The nerve of this guy thinking he could just waltz into town and destroy Lydia’s healthiest relationship. Last night, she gave Lydia a piece of her mind. It was time for him to get his. Her eyes on the detective, she entered his office as he got off the phone. Shutting the door, she closed the blinds. Folding her arms, she waited for him to acknowledge her.

 

“There is no need for you to be here Allison.” He put his jacket on. Now Lydia sent her guard dog. What else did this little town have in stored for him?

 

“Damn right there is. You need to stay away from Lydia.” Allison blocked the door as Stiles huffed.

 

“Thanks for something I already figured out.” His sarcasm got on her nerves. “If you don’t mind, I have some places I need to go visit for this investigation.”

 

“O so now your job matters more than your integrity and dignity.” She scoffed. “The only reason I’m not telling Jordan is because it was just a one time thing, and Lydia wants nothing to do with you.”

 

“What do you guys want from me?’ He tried to keep his voice down. “One minute she wants me, the next she doesn’t. But sense you are here I get the message loud and clear. Anything else?” He tried to not be hurt.

 

Despite how he believed her last night. He saw the truth in her eyes. She didn’t want Jordan.

 

“Yeah. Stay the hell away from her.” Allison fixed her face as she left his office.

 

“Allison. I’m sorry I didn’t know you were here.” Jordan hugged her.

“How could you? You were so busy giving out commands?” She laughed as Stiles walked passed them.

 

“I see you were welcoming the rookie detective.” He stated.

 

“Yeah. Hope he upholds his father’s legacy.” She smiled back. He was far from relatable and trustworthy. His father would be ashamed of his actions.

 

“He is.” Jordan smiled not noticing the odd expression on her face. “So, sorry I got sideswiped when I called you, but I hired some people to move Lydia’s things from apartment to mine. Do you think she will like it?”

 

“She will love it. She’s ready for this Jordan.” Allison grabbed his hand.

 

“I can finally say I think she is.” He smiled brightly. “I was wondering if you didn’t mind, could you try to keep her busy today.”

 

“Well lucky for you, she has tutoring and meetings, so you didn’t need my help to pull this off. So sorry about that.” Allison was still grateful to warn Stiles.

 

“No. I’m glad you are here Allison. I want to be a part of you and Scott’s lives. You both mean so much to Lydia.

 

“You do too.” Allison held his hand.

 

**TWTWTWTWTW**

 

Lydia at times wished she stayed teaching high school. At least there, the parents brought their children to tutoring sessions. Here she was waiting for students to take advantage of this opportunity. She laughed at herself. She was really disconnected to this age group. Her college experience was filled with work, school, and sorority parties. Right now they should be enjoying their life. Before they knew it, they would have jobs and being in relationships they want. O god, she should have canceled this. Jordan’s feelings were more important. But could she really break up with him on the job?

 

No. She prayed it wasn’t too big of a surprise. Probably a dinner since he was learning how to cook. She would figure out how to handle it when she got there.

 

“Dr. Martin.” A beautiful auburn hair girl came in, tugging a boy inside with her.

 

“Malia. Theo. What brings you two love birds here?” She playfully teased.

 

“We both need to keep our scholarships. Can you please help us?” She nudged the embarrassed athlete.

 

“Please Dr. Martin. I can’t go on academic probation. Coach has been on my back.”

 

“I can help. If you guys pay attention and stop making heart eyes at each other.”

 

“Alright. Alright.” The two pulled out their books and paper.

 

She watched them work the example as she explained the concept. Giving them time, she found herself wondering what would they think of her if she asked them what it was like to be in love. She had asked Allison millions of times. So many times that she realized she had never even experienced puppy love.

 

She knew growing up there was something wrong with her. Like this detachment towards all the guys she was attracted too. Was it because of Stiles? Was it because deep down she knew he was out there somewhere, and they would find each other? These dreams had been occurring for about a month, but there were times she remembered feeling emotions that she couldn’t explain. Emotions that weren’t hers. But deep down she knew she wasn’t alone.

 

Which was why she called Stiles after the two left, but he didn’t answer.

 

Stiles learned in this business to never ask what would drive one to kill another unless by accident or self-defense. Because the truth always came out. This time, it was over drugs. A kid on meth tried to steal from his dealer, and was caught. And paid the ultimate price because of his addiction. It was why his job was bittersweet. He felt pride as he put the cuffs on the 25 year old young man. Another man whose life was over. As the other officer booked him, he went to his car. Wiping his eyes, he thought about how the parents of the victim didn’t even know of his secret life. He also thought about the dealer’s family. They were sorry for the other’s loss. He thought he had gotten to the point where his stomach could take this.

 

But he wasn’t hollow. Not like Lydia was. The girl who told him last night it was him. Now apparently she was back with Jordan and she sent her best friend to relay the message. He saw her call but didn’t answer it. No way was he going to endure her constant rejection again.

 

And now he was driving to clear his head. Which turned into driving out of frustration. He couldn’t let her get away with breaking his heart like this. And she was going to get a piece of his mind. Driving around the college campus, he found the Mathematics and Science Building. Lucky for him, Jordan bragged about her enough that he knew where to find her.

 

As he walked the narrow hallways, he read the names until he came to hers. Dr. Lydia Martin. He knew she was brilliant. Turning the doorknob, he was surprised that it was unlocked. Shutting it behind him, he was shocked to see all of her accomplishments. No wonder she wanted Parrish.

 

And Stiles was a heartbroken puppy moping around a woman who was…….

 

“Ugh…..” He growled. Stopping dead in his tracks as Lydia walked in.

 

A bright smile on her face, she hugged him. Resting her face on his chest, she looked at him when he did not hug her back. All she saw were the tears in his eyes. Wiping them, he distanced himself from her.

 

“What happened?” Lydia asked. His cold eyes scaring her.

 

“So you really don’t know?” Stiles refused to be so gullible again. She already took enough from him.

 

“Know what?” she didn’t like this long silence. “I called because I. I missed you.” She held his hand. “I am going to tell Jordan tonight.” She promised.

 

“Lydia stop lying to me. That’s what you’ve been doing the whole time.” Why was he so weak around her?

 

“No its…” She hated seeing his sad eyes. It was like she killed him.

 

“So how else would you explain Jordan talking about you moving in with him or Allison confronting me today?”

 

“She did what?” This didn’t sound like her sister, but he had no reason to lie. She was going to fix this.

 

“Don’t act like you don’t know this.” His frustration broke her.

 

“I don’t. I don’t. Number one, I told her I chose Jordan before last night happened. And Jordan is still under the impression that I want to be with him. And I’m sorry that it exploded in your face like this, but I was honest with you. I’m sorry I keep hurting you. “ She hated how she found her way back at Jordan’s apartment last night when she said she couldn’t do it.

 

“Stiles. This is a complicated situation but please believe me. I want you. only you. I trust you. please look at me.” She moved his chin to look in her eyes.

 

“How can I Lydia? How can I possibly believe in something we both don’t understand?” He separated himself from her and she felt the emotional sting from it. “How did this happen?”

 

He couldn’t kiss her again as much as he wanted to. It didn’t feel right. It never would feel right when she belonged to someone else.

 

“I read about psychic connections. How they exist. Like a string that keeps two people connected. It would explain how every guy I dated wasn’t good enough for me. It was like I knew my real soul mate was out there but I had no way of finding him.”

 

“Lydia………”This was too much to handle. But it felt right to him. “Let’s say I did believe you. It would explain why I really only had one real relationship in my life. and even that wasn’t real. It seemed as if something kept pulling me back. Then I met you and instantly something is there.” She listened to him.

 

“I also read that emotions could be felt too.” She shrugged. “I remember being really depressed during elementary school. Around the 3rd and 4th grade. My parents sent me to professionals.” His eyes widened at her words.

 

Rubbing his mouth, Lydia watched him fidget.

 

“That was when my parents divorced.” He admitted. “So what happened to you when you were around 14? For my whole freshman year, I was moody and always crying.”

 

“Jackson was his name. He told me he loved me. And lets say I fell more in love with the idea that a guy wanted me rather than actually loving him. I slept with him to prove it to myself that I loved him more than him. And he dropped me the next week.”

 

“I’m sorry Lydia.” He hugged her. Resting his head on her head, he enjoyed her arms around him.

 

“No. no. it’s alright. Just wished I had learned from my mistake with him rather than repeating it.” She bit her lip.

 

“So….” She removed herself from his arms.

 

“So….” He repeated. “You should know that I felt you there. Even though I didn’t know what that feeling was. Knowing that I wasn’t really alone really helped me.

 

“It helped me too.” She smiled. “Its something I don’t want to lose.”

 

“Me neither.”

 

Lydia knew tonight was going to be a living hell for her. She felt it in her bones.

**TWTWTWTWTWTWTW**

 

Jordan lit the candles on the set table. Tonight would be the night they would both remember. The night that would be marked as the day they decided to move forward. He would put his childish ways behind him and never bring them back. The apartment was spotless. No sight of dirty dishes in the sink or clothes on the floor. He smiled at his accomplishment. He smiled as the clock read 5:50.

 

Lydia stood outside his door, trying to gain her composure. Trying to act like she didn’t spend the rest of her afternoon with Stiles. Laughing and talking about the events in their life. Drinking coffee and sitting near one another. Never to close because of what would happen. But she would accept anything she could have from him.

 

Now she had to summon the strength to break up with this kind-hearted man.

 

Walking inside she gasped at the beautifully lit room. She cried as Jordan guided her to the table with the fancy lace table cloth. All this was for her. She was his prize.

 

“Lydia. Don’t cry.” He kissed her as he held the chair for her to sit down. He mentally patted himself on the back. “Chicken Parmesan and spaghetti and white wine of course.” He poured her glass.

 

“Jordan….this is too nice. I can’t…..” She began to shake.

 

“Yes you can and you will.” He smiled sitting down. He definitely took her breath away.

 

“No. I can’t.” She moved away from the table. She couldn’t keep this from him anymore. “Jordan. I’m not who you think I am.” He watched her with confusion.

 

“Yes you are. You are the most brilliant, kindhearted woman I know.” He approached her. ”You don’t think you deserve to be treated so good, but you do because you’re perfect.”

 

“No. I’m not. I’m not and you have to know that I don’t want this. I don’t want this relationship and I don’t think I ever did.”

 

There she said it and it couldn’t be taken back.

 

“What?” The room grew eerily quiet as he looked at her. Memories of their relationship passed in his mind. “Lydia, this doesn’t sound like you. Because its not.”

 

“Stop that.” Lydia held herself. “Stop acting like you are the only person who knows what’s best for me better than me.”

 

“But it’s true, isn’t it? I mean if you didn’t want this why move in….” This was some nightmare. Some surreal moment that wasn’t happening to him.

 

“Because I felt obligated to. And I think you knew that to. We are both holding onto something that we should have let go a long time ago.” She tried to save his feelings as much as she could.

 

“Is there someone else?” She stiffened at his question. He immediately moved from her. He would never hit her, but he wanted to hit something. How could he have not known?

 

“It was someone at the pub wasn’t it? Tell me who. Do I know him.” He ordered. No wonder why she had been so moody.

 

“No.” Lydia averted her eyes from him.

 

“How far did it go?” He would not let her get away so easily.

 

“Don’t do this Jordan.”

 

“Tell me.”

 

“We kissed.” She shrugged.

 

“So you want to break up over a drunken kiss that happened?” He tried to rationalize her reason.

 

“It wasn’t a drunken kiss and it didn’t happen at the pub.”

 

“So it happened after that. Lydia it was just a kiss. That’s not strong enough to break what we have.” HE grabbed her shoulders.

 

“Jordan stop it. Don’t you see what you are doing? You are so desperate for us to be together that you are accepting my inexcusable behavior.”

 

“Lydia. I’m mad yes but people make mistakes all the time. Besides I was pressuring you too hard, I can see how why you did what you did.”

 

“Don’t do that. Always using that reverse psychology to make me feel guilty. I’m telling you that I don’t want to be with you anymore and you are literally saying that I do.”

 

“fine. You want to break up. Let’s break up then. O just so you know, you can move all your stuff from my place back to yours.” He opened up the extra storage closet. She gasped at the sight of all her clothes and shoes there.

 

Pissed was an understatement to describe what he felt right now.

 

“Jordan.” She shook her head. “Why did you do that?”

 

“It was your surprise.” He walked out his apartment. Slamming the door so hard that a few painting fell on the floor.

 

Lydia was emotionally drained. She felt horrible for hurting him, but at least she knew that she did the right thing. If only the right down wasn’t so hard to handle. Walking around his apartment, she grabbed her laptop. Holding it to herself, she cried. Falling to the floor, she realized that she didn’t deserve anyone as wonderful as Jordan or Stiles.


	7. Joy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joy-Ellie Goulding

Lydia picked herself off the floor. Those tears were going to be the last she shed. Wiping her eyes, she gathered her items from his drawer. Her biggest fault was being too critical of herself. Taking deep breaths, she realized she cried because she didn’t mean to intentionally hurt Jordan like this. But deep down she was overjoyed. She was finally free from the man who was not meant for her. The man who her friends and family put on this pedestal and she eventually did the same.

 

They marveled the man who loved playing mind tricks. And she gave into them every time. Why was it you could only see a person’s faults when you broke up with them? Her actions were not right, but his weren’t either.

 

She was definitely going to need help bringing all her things back to her place.

 

Allison could not believe her ears when Lydia called her. And she was here with two suitcases. She was aware of their “connection,” but did she know who she was connected to? Stiles was probably a great guy caught up in a bad moment. Her instincts told her that, but how were they going to get together? How long were they going to wait before they went public? This was definitely one hell of a night. She hugged her as Lydia pushed her away.

 

“This is not the time to hug me. “ She began to place her items in the enormous suitcase. Her dry tone let Allison knew she was upset.

 

“So are you going to take your clothes to Stiles’ apartment now?” Allison regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth.

 

“I can’t believe you asked me that? Like I intentionally meant to hurt Jordan. I’m not the perfect princess like you. and it’s not fair that you are judging me for it. Newsflash, we weren’t married. Not even engaged. I don’t owe him anything. When did you turn into this?” Lydia threw her items in her luggage without a care.

 

“You’re right. I shouldn’t……” Allison began.

 

“Damn right you shouldn’t. You overstepped your boundaries by telling Stiles that I chose Jordan. I don’t need for you to clean up my mess for me. When he told me I couldn’t even believe you would do that.” She watched Allison began to pack the other suitcase.

 

“What else was I supposed to do Lydia? Ever since you met him, you’ve been acting irrational.”

 

“So you think me leaving Jordan is irrational?” Lydia didn’t realize how delusional her sister was.

 

“Yeah. Connection or not. I mean come on Lyds. And then what happens when you go to Stiles. What if he has secrets that you don’t know about? What if he has another girlfriend from wherever the hell he came from?”

 

“He’s from San Diego. And he doesn’t have anyone. And even if he did, it’s my life let me live it.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me about Jordan then?”

 

“Because I didn’t want you to flaunt your perfect life in my face. A life where you always made the right choices and everything works out the right way. I’m not like you Allison. I’ve always been different. Hardwired differently. And for once I find someone who is like me. And I want that. Why don’t you want me to have what you have?” Allison wiped her eyes at Lydia’s plea.

 

She was being horrible to her in every way. Rather than trusting her, she basically made decisions for her. Despite seeing her friend wasn’t happy with herself or her life, she kept pushing her.

 

“Lydia. I want you to have what I have and more. Don’t you see? I didn’t confront Stiles out of spite. I did it to protect you. If the circumstances were different I would even like him. I’m sorry I took it too far. I was wrong to do that.”

 

“Allison, when did we become like this?” The two sat on the bed. She didn’t know how long Jordan was going to be out.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“When did we both change into these two different woman we don’t recognize? You’ve become judgmental and overbearing. I’ve become weak and think I deserve a guy who manipulated me into how he wanted me to be. Why can’t we go back to high school?” Allison never really thought about it that way before. When did she become the person she never wanted to be? She just got so caught up in her own life.

 

“Lydia you aren’t weak.”

 

“Yes I am. I don’t want to settle anymore. And I’m tired of you and everyone else thinking they know what makes me happy.” She said as Allison held her hand.

 

“I’m responsible for this. You wouldn’t be settling if it wasn’t for me getting inside your head like that. I just wanted you to have what I had. And I hate that you are crying because of my foolishness. Just because he doesn’t put his hands on you doesn’t mean he doesn’t mentally abuse you either. I’m really a bad friend Lydia. Can you please forgive me?” Allison cried as Lydia hugged her.

 

“Thank you, but I am the one to blame because I should have taken control. But I don’t want you to throw this back in my face. I was wrong for what I did to him, but he was wrong too.“

 

“Lydia, you don’t owe me an explanation. You need a friend not a body guard.” Allison said. “And I got to go to the station so I can apologize to Stiles.”

 

“Yeah. You should.” Lydia said.

 

“Do you regret kissing Stiles?”

 

“No.” She said without hesitation.

 

“Then you made the right choice. “Allison rubbed her shoulder. “As long as you’re happy.

 

She wished there was something she could do to show Lydia that she could trust her again. She hated how she let Lydia deal with this on her own. Adulthood brought maturity, not pretentiousness.

 

**TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW**

 

Stiles knew the exact moment Lydia broke up with Parrish. He felt her pain, confusion and frustration instantly. His queasy stomach could not handle a beer. Nor could it handle the sight of Jordan walking inside the pub. He believed in being a good person and now he was a hypocrite.

 

“So what brings you here detective?” Jordan sat beside him asking the bar tender for a beer.

 

“Just had to clear my mind.” Stiles felt the knots in his stomach tighten. How was he going to handle this?

 

“O did someone break your heart too?” He drank. He should have known not to come here, but he wasn’t thinking clearly now. This was his favorite spot to go to with her. Who was this unknown guy that had the power to make her leave him?

 

“Sorry to hear that.” He said.

 

“I don’t get it Stiles. Why do nice guys get the worst hand?”

 

“because God has a sense of humor.” Stiles tried to excuse himself.

 

“I thought Lydia was my wife. I met her on the interstate. She had talked her way out of ticket. She fit into my life so well. She met my family and everything.” He drank as Stiles remained quiet.

 

Parrish talked about how Lydia fit into his life but never once said how he fit into hers. It was like he thought he saved her. But Lydia didn’t need to be saved.

 

“Then she had to mess it up by kissing some guy she just met. She said she didn’t sleep with him either but she probably did.”

 

Stiles had to remind himself that Jordan had every right to not believe her after this. And he should be suspicious too. How could he let her back in so easily after one conversation? How could he not think that if she did it to Jordan, she could do it to him?

 

“Jordan. Don’t do this to yourself.” He watched the man ask for another beer. Stiles tried to take the bottle from his hand. Two beers would turn into five. He was the sheriff with an image to uphold.

 

“Stiles. You don’t get it. Lydia was supposed to be the one person who I could trust. Whoever she left me for better be prepared to get his heart broken too because she’s the little girl who’s still unsure of herself.”

 

A drunken tongue always spoke the sober mind.

 

He didn’t know this side existed. The sheriff with the heart of gold was nothing like his father. But a job was different than a relationship. And everything changed when your heart was broken.

 

He only drank as Stiles looked dumbfounded and sorry for him. He didn’t want his pity. It wasn’t fair that she broke up with him so easily. The alcohol wasn’t helping. It was his third. She kept playing in his mind and he couldn’t stop himself.

 

Stiles watched him drink another beer. He asked himself if he regretted kissing Lydia. The answer was ‘no’, but his actions went against his own code as man.

 

“Jordan. You need to go home. I will call you a taxi.” He said.

 

“I don’t want a damn taxi. I want my girlfriend back. My beautiful, smart girlfriend back.” He rested his head on the bar.

 

“I know you do.”

 

He knew that even if he called a taxi, he was so drunk he couldn’t make it to his front door. Placing his arm around his shoulder, he carried him to the his jeep. Thank god the bar was slow tonight.

 

**TWTWTWTWTWTWTTWWTWTWT**

 

Allison helped her sister place both suitcases in the backseat. No words could express the guilt she felt for dragging Lydia through the ringer. As they sat in the car, she watched the smartest person she knew analyze her self-worth, but also taking a breath of joy and peace. She wished she had both. She pretended as if she did so that she wouldn’t hate herself like this. So she wouldn’t have thrown her own frustrations on Lydia in the way she did.

 

“I’m ready to go.” Lydia noticed Allison’s hands grip the steering wheel. Something was obviously on her mind. ”What’s wrong?”

 

“Everything.” She released her grip as she wiped her eyes. “I never told you the whole reason why I acted the way I acted about you, Stiles and Jordan.” She paused while Lydia waited. “It’s because of what I went through with Isaac and Scott.”

 

“So, you did sleep with him….”

 

“I didn’t. But I wanted to. And I’m so ashamed of myself for that. When I wasn’t around him, I missed him and his compliments. And I hid it so well from you and Scott.” She cried. She was so close to losing her true love.

 

“Allison. It’s alright.”

 

“No. it’s not alright. It wasn’t alright that I found myself attracted to another guy who wasn’t my husband. If there is anyone who should face judgment it’s me. I made vows and I meant them.”

 

“And you stood by them. You didn’t give into temptation. It can happen to anyone. And you have to forgive yourself. We aren’t kids anymore. Everything is so much more complicated than it already is.” Lydia held her hand.

 

“I just didn’t want you to end up doing something that you would regret. And now that it happened, you don’t regret it. I jumped to the wrong conclusion and didn’t trust your judgment. I didn’t want you to end up hating yourself like I do.”

 

“Allison. Let that go. Forgive yourself. Isaac is gone. And you have to focus on your marriage to an amazing man who would move mountains for you.”

 

“and I have to focus on being a good friend.” The two laughed.

 

“And I have to focus on getting to know myself again. In believing in myself.”

 

“How are we going to do that?”

 

“I don’t know. I’m an expert at numbers not relationships.” Lydia shrugged as she looked through her bag. “I forgot to give back Jordan’s key. Give me five minutes.” She hugged Allison.

 

Lydia stared at her phone. Her instinct was to call Stiles immediately, but that wouldn’t be fair to her or him. This was the wrong timing and Stiles was the right man. Opening his door, she placed the key on the kitchen counter. Taking one last look in this place, she realized she wasn’t going to miss it. It was a wonderful feeling.

 

Stiles helped the unconscious Jordan down the hallway. Seeing his associate made him realize that his feelings for Lydia had to be put on hold. Despite their feelings, he should not expect Lydia to just come to him. He didn’t want it that easy. And honestly, he didn’t want it to happen like this. He didn’t want Jordan to be in more agony than he already was.

 

“Stiles.” Lydia didn’t expect to see him and Jordan together in this particular situation. Jordan was drunk and she pushed him to it. She didn’t think the breakup would cause him to act so dangerously.

 

“Where’s his bed?” She pointed to the room as the two laid him down.

 

She didn’t think he would act so irresponsibly. He was never this reckless. What if Stiles hadn’t been there to take him home? What if he would have driven? Just because she didn’t love him didn’t mean she didn’t care about him.

 

“Don’t worry. Hardly anybody was at the bar, so no one saw him except the bartender gave his word he wouldn’t say anything.” The two left his apartment.

 

Both silent, afraid that the wrong word would ruin everything. They both had to talk about ‘this.’ Define what ‘this’ was. Lydia saw how Stiles was mentally battling himself. Should he kiss her or stay away from her? She was contemplating the same thing.

 

“I hope so.” Lydia held herself as they walked to the parking lot. “Thank you Stiles for being the best man I’ve ever met.”

 

“I’m not Lydia.” He somehow learned how to deny himself of what he wanted.

 

“yes you are.”

 

“No. what I did to Jordan.” Stiles began.

 

“No. it was all me. I was the one who pursued you that night.”

 

“Stop it Lydia. I’m not saying this to make you think that you did everything wrong. Yes, you had a commitment to him, but I could have easily rejected you. I didn’t want to. I don’t want to now, but I have to.” He reminded himself to keep his voice down.

 

“I agree but the right thing feels wrong Stiles. And don’t act as if you don’t feel it either.” Allison watched them from her car window. “But I can’t have you because of how I am. Not saying you still want me. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. You saw first hand how I handled my relationship with Jordan.”

 

“Lydia.” He paused. His instincts outweighed his suspicions. “You aren’t the first person to handle a break up in the wrong way. But you aren’t ready for a relationship with me. How I feel about you is irrelevant because it’s….”

 

“Stiles, it seems like you are so used to being overlooked because of who you are. It’s not fair that I’m the crazy one. that we are used to mistreated in different ways.” She clutched her purse, wanting to thumb her thumb across his cheek.

 

Lydia wasn’t crazy. And he hated how she thought she was because others didn’t understand her. She was just like him, a misguided soul. Someone searching for an anchor. A missing piece. And they found it with each other, but couldn’t act on it.

 

“That’s why we can’t be together now Lydia. I’m not perfect, but I don’t want to second guess your actions. I want to be sure this is what you want without you going back and forth. And I don’t want you to compare me to Jordan. And even though I want you to be my friend….”

 

“we can’t be friends.” She finished his sentence.

 

“Right.” The two stood there with glistening eyes. Waiting for the other to say that they could be friends. That they would resist the urge to kiss each other. That they didn’t care what Jordan would think of them.

 

“Good night Lydia.” He took one last look at her.

 

“Let’s go get some Chunky Monkey.” Allison knew their exchange was not good. Lydia wiped her eyes. How was it that this seemed like an actual breakup? That in this moment she realized how strong they to sacrifice their wants for their needs? When she saw him was she just supposed to ignore him? What about their dreams? Was their emotional tether finally broken?


	8. Stand In the River

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stand in the river-Wildlife

Lydia woke up as the sun peeked through her blinds. She almost forgot what it felt like to not answer to anyone but herself. Planting her feet on her floor, she almost forgot how good it felt to be lazy on the weekends. To not be suffocated by Jordan’s weight in the bed or chose her words carefully so he wouldn’t pick them apart. Every time he called, she would reject him. By now she would be with him so she wouldn’t be alone. So much has changed.

 

Two uplifting months passed. She felt like she was back in high school again. Once again, she was comfortable in her skin and trusting her intellect and wisdom to guide her. Helping others and loving to laugh at the simple things, life wasn’t as hard as she thought it was. She had learned how to handle it with the wit she prided herself in. She was independent again.

 

But these long weeks were also tortuous. Seeing Stiles’ face in her dreams. Remembering his lips on hers would be her death. It seemed like since that night, she felt his jumbled, incoherent thoughts in her head. She couldn’t make it out no matter how hard she tried. All she could comprehend were his emotions. Stiles was anxious. Discouraged. And something else she couldn’t quite recognize.

 

Powerful. Deadly. When she concentrated, it was a piercing pain that tightened in her heart.

 

It wasn’t fair that he was suffering and she wasn’t. He was sacrificing his mental stability for hers. Already, he put her before himself. And she was afraid to run to him. Thank him. Call him.

 

She was afraid to face her consequences. Not because of Jordan but because of her fear of losing herself again. She was not going to sacrifice her sense of self to be shackled in another unhealthy relationship. That’s what she told herself because being around Stiles was the best for her. She was so used to being treated badly, that she didn’t know how to handle being treated with respect. Which was why she kept running when he was near her.

 

This unnatural tether that kept them close despite the distance. No she didn’t know much about him. But she knew that when she talked, his listened. He basked in her beauty. She wasn’t this prize that he deserved. Her presence was a blessing to him.

 

And she loved his charming awkwardness. His quick wit. How he was able to challenge what she thought about herself with one look. How all he wanted was to face things head on without running from them or lying to himself.

 

But was it the right time? Would it be too cliché to just run to him without a second thought? All of these questions ran through her mind as she sipped her coffee. She relished in the flavor as an unexpected dizziness overtook her senses.

 

The noise from her mug shattering on the floor was unheard as she gripped the counter to keep from falling. Her breathing quickened as tried to gain her balance. This wasn’t a heart attack.

 

“Stiles.” She muttered as everything went black.

 

**TWTWTWTWTWWTTW**

It was called heartbreak and millions of songs were about it. For nearly a month, Stiles was on the brink of self-destruction. Running on “e,” he focused on his career rather than his health. His colleagues thought it was determination, but he knew he was hiding. So did his father. And it was putting a strain on their relationship because he refused to tell him the reason.

 

He laughed cynically as he thought about how his father would react. It was not a good response no matter what he’d say. He didn’t have time to listen to him lecture about lust for forbidden women. But this wasn’t lust that he felt.

 

But Lydia was alright. She was happy. Knowing that helped him survive each day. But it was bittersweet because he could not see her. And just like he felt her presence, he felt her every time she ran away from him. Those random occurrences made him want to move again. And it hurt like hell. Knowing that they both wanted each other but couldn’t act on………….

 

He tried to steady his heartbeat. His hands shook uncontrollably. No. this wasn’t happening to him now. Damnit Lydia.

 

“Stiles.” Scott walked in his office startled by his noticeable shaking. His eyes went straight to the mug on his desk. His friend was killing himself.

 

But that was Stiles. A good-hearted guy who didn’t intentionally mean to hurt anyone. He didn’t know how he did it. Facing Jordan everyday knowing that he was reason Lydia could never be happy with the sheriff or any other man for that matter. And he wouldn’t be happy nor content with any other woman besides her.

 

Stiles heard his voice, but couldn’t respond because of this numbing panic. It was rushing through his body. Shutting off all his thoughts as his breathing quickened. This hadn’t happened since his parents divorced. It felt like his lungs were collapsing. This drilling motion in his head kept pulsating as he fell.

 

“Stiles!” Scott said repeatedly as he called 9-1-1. He knew this was the result of sleep deprivation and anxiety.

 

Stiles was having an out of body experience. He saw his brother doing his best to stay calm while talking to the operator. His fellow officers came rushing to his side along with the paramedic. They were all suffocating him more.

 

“I’m still here.” Scott knew his brother could hear him, but he wasn’t going to leave him anytime soon. Some one could cover his shift. He watched as the paramedic placed him on the stretcher, attaching the oxygen mask as they headed for the hospital. At least he was resting now.

 

_Stiles’ body had a mind of its’ own as he walked the dark narrow hallway. The deadly silence engulfed him. His hard footsteps echoed. Careful of the cracks underneath his feet, he was uncertain of where he was going. But he was certain that he needed to get there._

_His feet grew tired as he came to an abrupt stop. A dead end. An old thick wall. Touching it, he didn’t understand what this meant. Why was he here? What was he searching for? A sense of discouragement washed over him as he heard a faint voice._

_A familiar faint voice calling his name with urgency._

_“Lydia.” His eyes brightened as he began to search the wall for some way to get to her._

_Maybe there was a secret panel he was overlooking. He never felt this degree of tension and fear before. Knowing that Lydia needed him, but he couldn’t be there broke him. This agonizing ripple that shook his core, he wouldn’t wish this on his worst enemy._

_His fists banging against the hard wall. The cuts and scrapes didn’t matter. The light blood on his hands didn’t matter. Getting to her did…._

 

“Lydia. Lydia.” Scott made the words out as they rode in the ambulance. He wished he knew what to do for his friend.

**TWTWTWTWTWTWTWT**

 

“Lydia.” Allison ran her sister’s side. Her world stopped when she saw her unconscious on the floor. How long had she been in this state? Placing her head against her chest, she heard a strong heartbeat. Thank God.

 

Grabbing her phone, she released a sigh of relief as Lydia became coherent.

 

“ughhhhhhh.” Lydia slowly sat up, surprised by Allison at her side. Rubbing her temples, she was still disoriented. Though she was in her apartment, she still felt trapped in that dark place. So close and yet so far away from Stiles.

 

The constant stinging in her heart told her that Stiles was in harm’s way. She had to go to him.

 

“O my God. Are you alright?” She hugged her carefully as Lydia nodded. Removing herself from Allison’s arms, she attempted to stand. No matter how hard she screamed or banged. The wall wouldn’t move. Clutching her heart, she made even breaths.

 

“Hold on.” Allison placed her arm around her shoulder, moving her to the couch as she grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. She would clean up the broken mug later.

 

“No. I don’t need water. I need to go to Stiles.” She urgently said she tried to gain her balance. Her life was not going to be like that dream.

 

The jolts in her stomach told her this wasn’t some childlike crush or infatuation. She was his anchor and vice versa. And he needed her now.

 

Allison admired her passion, but she had to look out for her.

 

“Lydia you just fainted and you’ve been out for God knows how long.” She knew reason was not going to win.

 

“Allison. I know you don’t get it but I can’t think about myself. I have to go see Stiles. He needs me.” She began to search for her keys as Allison didn’t know what to do. Her friend was a walking a tornado that couldn’t be tamed. She was running on instincts and adrenaline.

 

“Can you please take a moment and collect yourself?” Allison’s phone rang. “Hey babe. Wait. Calm down.” She tried to make sense of Scott’s words as Lydia grabbed her purse. Judging by Allison’s tone, she wasn’t making this up in her head.

 

“Ok. Ok. We are on our way.” Allison didn’t know how she was going to tell Lydia what happened. She was right.

 

“It’s Stiles isn’t it?” Allison only nodded.

 

**TWTWTWTWTWTW**

 

Melissa rubbed Stiles' head as he slept in the hospital bed. The staff found themselves panicking when he arrived with the paramedic this morning. Her son was right, dehydration and sleep deprivation. The young man was overworking himself. Kissing his forehead, she hugged Stilinski.

 

"He's going to be ok." The father watched his son sleep with the iv in his arm.

 

"I can't believe I didn't push harder to make him take care of himself. Claudia was always the better parent. I was just a glorified babysitter. Still am."

 

Stilinski watched his son with regret. He didn't know why Stiles was putting so much stress on himself. He definitely underestimated the power of whatever was weighing him down.

 

When Melissa called him, he wasn’t expecting to hear this.

 

"Don't do this to yourself. Stiles is his own man. And you are a great man and father better than my ex that is for sure." She rubbed his shoulder. Though she just met this young man months ago, it felt like her other son was in that bed.

 

Over these months, Scott and him became close. Inseparable. She was grateful for Stiles because now her son had someone who balanced him out in a different way than Allison did.

 

"I don't know how this happened? It doesn't matter how old your child is. They are still your child." He had felt helplessness in his line of duty but this was far worse.

 

"I know but you have got to go home. You've been here since this morning. Get some rest. Scott’s still here, so take a break." She gave him a reassuring smile.

 

“I’ll probably stay a little longer.” He sat beside his son’s bed.

 

Memories of Stiles came to him. The times he watched him until he fell asleep. Stiles wouldn’t let him leave because of fear that the monsters would get him. He just wished now Stiles would tell him what his monsters were again. His son always looked out for everyone but himself. At times, he hated how him and Claudia never taught him how to be more selfish.

 

“Just let me know if you need a blanket or anything.” Melissa kissed him on the forehead as she left the room. Immediately giving her son a look that would stop the devil in his tracks. He took a huge gulp as he felt like that same teen who did something wrong.

 

“Do you have time for a coffee break?” Scott kissed her cheek, knowing that wasn’t going to make her forget whatever she was going to say.

 

“Depends if you have time to tell me why Stiles is really in that hospital bed.”

 

“Mom. You know why. The medical records said…..” He began.

 

“Scott. This isn’t something that your cute puppy eyes can get you out of. Do we need to look into some therapists to help him because he’s clearly depressed if he’s overwhelming himself to no end. I mean I love that boy. If he needs….”

 

“Mom. It’s not what you think.” Scott stated, hoping she wouldn’t pry.

 

“Then tell me.” She folded her arms.

 

“I can’t mom. It’s personal. Can you just trust me?” Scott pleaded as he stood his ground. Her eyes stared into his for about five minutes. Not saying anything, as she realized she lost this battle.

 

“Haven’t I always?”

 

“Thank you.” He kissed her cheek.

 

**TWTWTWTWTW**

 

Allison disregarded the speed limit as she drove to the hospital. She worried about Stiles too. No they weren’t friends-because of her own actions- but he was important to the two most important people in her life. She hated seeing Lydia in this frightened state where she was barely breathing. Lydia was praying he was alright, but Allison was praying that this wouldn’t blow up in their faces too much that they could not recover.

 

What was going to happen when Parrish came? And yes, he was coming to check up on his detective. How was he going to react when he saw Lydia in Stiles’ hospital room? No she would not interfere, unless Lydia asked her to. But the hospital was not the right place for their relationship to be discovered.

 

Lydia didn’t care if her face showed her worry and concern. What others thought didn’t matter. Stiles was waiting for her, and she wasn’t going to let him down again. All people needed to know was that he was her friend. She smiled faintly as she saw Melissa at the nurse’s station. She was a sign that everything was going to be ok.

 

“Hey Melissa.” The nurse looked surprised to see a Lydia, with Allison at her side. Lydia probably met Stiles at one of their dinner parties. Not that it was her business, but they had to have had some encounter if she was worried to this degree. Wasn’t she with…….

 

“What room is Stiles in?” Allison noticed her mother-in-law’s confused expression as Lydia began to fidget. Melissa definitely wanted to know why she was acting so panicked. Along with the other staff. That was the flaw of living in a small town.

 

“Room 1308.” Allison grabbed Lydia’s hand as they headed to his room.

 

Maybe she was being dramatic, but Lydia was trying to prepare herself emotionally for this moment. To see him again when so much time had passed. Was she being selfish again? What if he didn’t want her here? Maybe it was wrong to have come. Just to pop up out of nowhere and expect to be welcomed. They had both agreed that they couldn’t be friends. So being here was going against that.

 

Allison squeezed her hand. Lydia was enduring a strong mental battle and she needed assurance that this was the right thing to do.

 

“Please tell me you don’t regret being here?” Allison saw how Lydia tried not to notice some of the staff members watch her.

 

“No. but what if I’m doing more harm than good? I mean. That night….” She shrugged.

 

“Lydia. I wish you had a guide for what to do now. This isn’t black and white. And I know I can’t even comprehend what you are both feeling, but there is nothing wrong with being there for someone who needs you.” Allison smiled.

 

“You’re right.” She opened the door as Scott stood up at their presence.

 

“Lydia. He’s alright.” He hugged her.

 

Lydia smiled at the sight of Stiles’ sleeping in the bed. He was exhausted, but he was here. Safe. She grabbed his hand, careful of the IVs. The other hand touching his forehead. Cheeks. And lips. The simple joy of innocently touching him radiated through their bodies. He knew she was there with him. Kissing his forehead, she was oblivious to Allison and Scott watching her.

 

“I’m here Stiles.” She said as he clutched her hand tightly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“Promise?” He muttered in his sleep.

 

“Promise.” She cried, lacing their hands together.


	9. The Riot's Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Riot's Gone- Santigold

“Nooooooo.” Lydia bolted out of her seat at the sound of Stiles’ loud screeching scream echoing the hospital room. Searching frantically, she hit the “call” button.

“Lydia. Lydia…..”

Stiles was a prisoner of his dreams, tossing and turning. Muttering incoherent words as his hands gripped the bed sheets so tightly his knuckles turned white. His agonizing fear rushed through her body as she tried to wake him. Her heart broke at the sight of his pale skin. The buckets of skin growing heavier as she stifled the her own screams. No. She would not give into the helplessness. It was her turn to be strong for him.

“Stiles….” She gripped his shoulders. He was in that dark place again, trying to get to her. Sinking by the second. Trying to hang onto to his last shred of strength. “Please wake up. Please wake up.”

The cloudy vision from her tears did not stop her pleading as he shook. Grunting with a cracked voice, he was too helpless to fight to come back to her. So she would fight for him.

“It’s a dream Stiles. I’m here.” She pressed her head against his chest. Somehow she was able to reach behind him. Clutching him. Holding him. Listening to his heartbeat finally slow down. “I’m not leaving you.” She shuttered as his eyes stayed closed.

He sat in the dark tunnel. His knees against his hard chest. She was still far from him. The brick wall would not move. His hands were bloodied and bruised. Strong enough to hold a gun but not strong enough to hold her. To break through the stone wall. 

“It’s a dream Stiles. I’m here.” Lydia’s sweet voice echoed. The most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. He closed his eyes, drowning in it. It was the closest he would ever get to her.

“Lydia. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” His voice cracked. He was supposed to be able to free them. He let her down. and himself.

“Stiles. I’m right here. Waiting for you. Just please. Open your eyes for me.” She panicked at his tremors.

“But if I do. You won’t be here.” He subconsciously held her waist. Lydia cried at those words. This dream broke him, yet he didn’t want to leave it because he felt that was the only way to be near her.

“yes. I will. Trust me.” If she could feel his pain, he could feel her strength and unwavering faith in them. Rubbing his temples with her thumbs, she kissed his sweaty forehead. “Please.”

Lydia waited patiently. The longest minutes of her life were praying that Stiles would open those big beautiful auburn eyes again. That he would say some sarcastic remark that assured that they could move forward. Together. Romantically or not. Whatever he decided. She needed him as a permanent part in her life.

Lydia gasped. This was not her imagination. Stiles eyes slowly fluttered open. The gorgeous strawberry blonde finally came into vision. Her hand gripping his. Her words were real. Her presence here was real. But what did that mean? Was it some double edged sword that would stab him in the heart later. No. he would not be pessimistic. Not with the inexhaustible worry she had for him.

The two in the hospital bed. Lydia resting her head on his chest. His steady heartbeat matched hers. He was finally free. His desolate thoughts no longer trapped him. Taking a deep breath, once again she was in his arms. One hand holding the back of her head close, the other around her waist. His body and mind worked in conjunction to make sure she would not be taken away from him. 

“You guys I am so sorry.” Melissa rushed inside. “We’ve just got swamped in the last hour. I had sent a nurse but even she got sidetracked.” She saw the two in bed together in the intimate position. Stiles playing with her ponytail, while the other hand traced circles in her back.

Thank God she was the one to find them like this. There was no need to add to their childish gossip of Lydia moving on too soon.

“Everything alright?” She checked his IV fluids. Smiling at Stiles. Never had she’d seen him look this serene before. Nor Lydia. She never cared for Jordan like this.

“Yeah.” He finally was able to be honest with himself, a yawn escaped his lips as a laugh escaped Lydia’s. He definitely could sleep now.

“Good. Because I need you to rest and get better Stiles. Or your dad will have my head.” The three laughed as she handed him the mild sedative.

“Twist my rubber arm why don’t you.” He took the pill as Lydia poured him some water.

“Well I see that my services might not be needed after all.” Melissa teased as the two blushed. The reality of their situation punched them in the face yet again.

“It’s alright.” Melissa smiled when they hesitantly let each other go.

“No. its not.” He brushed his hands in his hair as the sedative kicked in. Lydia being here was a mistake. His mind was so foggy from the medicine that he couldn’t tell her to leave him.

“Stiles. It is. Believe me.” Lydia assured him with her soft smile. Watching him go back to sleep, she got out of his bed carefully. With Melissa’s curious eyes on her, she didn’t know what else to say but how she felt.

“Go on. Throw your judgments like the rest of those nurses. Their eyes are accusing me of things they don’t know of. What is with this town of thinking that our sheriff is perfect and that he doesn’t make mistakes and tries to put it off as if I’m the problem but it was him. not me.…” She babbled as Melissa’s eyes widened. She wasn’t expecting to hear this.

But she had to suspect something because no one was that happy to be together.

“Lydia what you do or how you live your life is your business. All I see is a friend looking out for another. If Jordan can’t see that then….”

“I’m not with Jordan.” The two heard Stiles’ light snore.

“So then who cares what they think or what he thinks for that matter?” The light bulb went off as she shook her head. “Jordan is just going to have to deal.”

“yeah. Deal with his ex here with his deputy for more than two hours. I’m not naïve. I’m pretty sure word got back to him.”

“Most likely. But just so you know, it wasn’t me who was apart of it.” She rubbed her shoulder, exiting the room. 

 

TWTWTWTWTW

Stilinski stood outside the hospital room, peeking through the small window on the door. When did Stiles and Lydia become this close? The thought made him disappointed in himself as a father. He was disconnected from Stiles more than he thought. Was it something he did to make him think that he couldn’t tell him?

“You know you can go in right.” Melissa smiled. The two watched Lydia sit in the chair holding his hand. Obviously, she was there as a friend, but there was more in her eyes.

“Maybe I should wait until she leaves. I don’t want her to feel like I don’t want her there to see him. I’m so grateful Stiles has someone other than Scott to look out for him.”

“Me too.” Melissa rubbed his back. “But I don’t think Lydia is going anywhere.” The two smiled.

“Well how about a coffee break. I need some caffeine to calm my nerves some more.” 

“yeah. I’d like that.” The two headed towards the break room. She realized it’s still hard to not blame himself for this. A parent always blames themselves for things they cant control in their child’s life. But something else was bothering him.

It was no secret of how her feelings for the sheriff were more than just admiration. If only he could see her as more than “a friendly nurse.” But when he had a beautiful woman like Claudia as his ex wife, of course he would have a hard time moving on. At least she had him as a friend.

“Why don’t I pour us a cup.” He took the mugs from her hand as he admired her cute blush. It was moments when their hands accidently touched he cherished. So many times, he wanted to ask her out. But the words wouldn’t come out.

“Thank you.” She accepted the kind gesture as they sat down. Enjoying their coffee, the silence was comforting. She waited for Stilinski to speak.

“Stiles’ physical health isn’t the only thing I worry about. Its his mental health too.” He paused. “The way Lydia looked at him. the genuine sincerity in her eyes. The compassion and care I saw, I realized that Stiles needs that.”

“He does. We all need that. Sometimes it’s so much easier to shut that side down. especially if you’ve been hurt.” Melissa frowned.

“And I’ve been a terrible role model for that. I didn’t teach Stiles that having that one special person in your life is one of the most important things he needs to survive. I should have talked to him. I was never great at that because I couldn’t even admit it to myself.” He shrugged.

“So you regret your divorce with Claudia?” Melissa tried to hide her hurt.

“I did for a while. Then I realized that I just missed what it felt like to be in love. And I want to feel that with the right person.” He grabbed her hand over the table. “Umm. What I mean is I want that for Stiles. If I cant have it, I sure as hell don’t want him to suffer.” He quickly pulled his hand back. He didn’t want to be too forward.

“so you think that important person should be Lydia?” She asked. He was so oblivious to her feelings for him.

“To be honest. I don’t care. But Lydia is a great woman….” He sipped as he thought about what it meant for Stiles’ career.

“Do you want me to finish your statement or are you going to do it?” She sipped as she heard some doubt in his voice.

“We aren’t going to say anything because who says that they acted on their feelings.”

“You’re right.” Melissa said. 

“I mean Lydia’s breakup with Parrish could have been mutual.” He said. Both knew it wasn’t. “O crap.”

“Exactly. Jordan is not going to play nice. I just hope he won’t try to transfer him to another county or fire him.”

“I will definitely see to it that he doesn’t. I did train him.” Stilinski said as he reached for her hand again. This time lacing their fingers together. “I really enjoyed this.”

“Me too.”

“Maybe we can do this again. Later on in the day.”

“so like a date?” Melissa bit her lip as she tried to play it cool.

“Yeah. Do I have any competition?”

“No.” She smiled brightly. 

Ring, Ring

“You can answer that.” He hated how it ruined their moment. But he reminded himself that there were plenty more to come.

She rolled her eyes at the persistent ring. She gasped at the name. 

“It’s Parrish.” She didn’t know if she should answer it. Maybe he was calling to check up on Stiles’ status. Or maybe he was trying to pick her for information about Lydia. Licking her lips, she answered.

“Hey Jordan.” She blushed as Stilinski admired her beauty.

“How’s Stiles. I finally got some free time and I will be there in a little bit.” He folded his lips knowing Melissa was not the one to manipulate.

“He’s fine now. Resting finally.”

“Alright then. See you there.” He hung up.

“That boy definitely knows something is up.” She informed.

 

TWTWTWTWTW

Jordan had experienced the longest two months of his life. It wasn’t fair that Lydia moved on and he missed her tremendously. How she didn’t even answer his calls. They were a good match. He had to get her to see that again. To believe in him again. His bed was a constant reminder that she should be there with him. and the shoes she left behind. That was why he was taking these to Allison because he knew Lydia wouldn’t open the door for him.

Yet, she could go with Allison and Scott to check on Stiles. His deputy that she hardly knew. Word of course got back to him about it. First it was this mystery guy at the bar. Now it was Stiles. It only meant one thing. She was trying to make him jealous. And it was working. But that was good because that meant that she wanted him back. That she was trying to make him suffer like he did with her. And he would find out from Allison.

Over the two months, his mind began to wonder about that mystery guy. No one saw her with any guy at pub that night. It was like he was a ghost. Which made him wonder if she lied to him just to get back at him. But apparently she hadn’t been seen with any guy over the time period in town. People talked. Maybe it didn’t work out the way she expected. And this was his chance to make up for his mistakes.

Allison didn’t know what to think when Parrish rang the doorbell. The usual light- hearted smile on his face was his mask. He was here for a reason. And she hoped she could bite her tongue. She would never forgive herself for convincing Lydia to stay with Jordan as long as she did. Stiles was a good man who didn’t deserve any of the crap she gave him. Thank god he was doing better. Putting her hair in a loose ponytail, she waited for him to speak.

“Hey.” He held out the bag to her. He immediately noticed how everything had changed between them. He was no longer her friend. Just Lydia’s ex.

“Hi Jordan.” She looked at him oddly. Something was going on in that manipulative mind of his.

“It’s Lydia’s shoes.” She took them. Waiting for him to say what he was dying to say. 

“Look Allison. I know me and Lydia aren’t together but can’t we still be friends?” This was another one of his mind tricks. She saw right through it. “That doesn’t have to change you know.”

“I know.” She placed the bag by the door.

“Just that I do miss you and Scott.” He rubbed the back of his head as she leaned against the doorframe. Her arms folded, he gulped at her stone cold glare. He had a gun and he was still afraid to use it on her.

“Jordan, there is no bad blood between us alright.” She assured as he still stood there. Why couldn’t her suspicions have been paranoia? She hated to be right this time. But his inquisitive look told her he needed something else.

“Jordan. I don’t mean to be blunt but what else do you want? I’ve had a long day.” She stated.

“you mean from checking on Stiles. You, Scott and Lydia.” Allison rolled her eyes. 

“Must be true if you aren’t denying them.” His officers would have no reason to lie to him. Why was Lydia staying so long with a guy she just met? “Why is Lydia there with Stiles?”

“Because she can.” Allison said snarkily. “Her and Stiles are friends. Remember she helped him carry you to your bed the night of the breakup.” 

“O yeah.” He forgot about that. “I’m glad Stiles has made friends. But you know what Lydia is also doing right?”

“No.” Allison was dying to hear what he would say next.

“I mean. If her and Stiles were really friends, don’t you think he would tell me? I mean he did know of our relationship.” Jordan began as Allison kept her poker face. Hoping to play his own game against him.

“Not really. He wouldn’t have any reason. Especially with you being so bitter still.”

“Allison, come on you know Lydia likes attention from guys. She’s that same queen bee from high school.” Allison almost threw up at his words.

“Lydia isn’t that way anymore. I’m trying to understand your logic here. So you think Stiles and Lydia are…..”

“No. Lydia isn’t Stiles’ type or vice versa. But I do think that Lydia has some ulterior motive behind visiting her new ‘friend’. Allison didn’t know if she wanted to laugh at him or hit him because of his cockiness.

“ So you think Lydia is doing this all for you. A guy who can never be straight-forward.” She said. “Who manipulated her to no end. Who sees her as this prize. Her property.”

“O this coming from her friend who wanted us to be together. Why is that? Because you know Lydia is happy with me. She’s trying to make me jealous by taking advantage of Stiles’ situation. She’s not perfect, sweet Lydia.” Jordan was one hell of a sheriff but when it came to his own personal life, he couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag.

“I mean it’s no coincidence that no one can tell me about that guy at the pub.”

“So you checkout her story? Are you that obsessed? You really need help you know that. And while we are on the subject can you kill your ego for one second. You know what, I am done with this conversation.” She closed the door in his face.

That man was relentless. How could he possibly think Lydia was trying to make him jealous? How could he use his authority like that? She found herself scared for her friend as she grabbed her phone. 

 

TWTWTWTWTWT

Stiles slowly sat up in the bed. Running his fingers through the bedsheets, the uncomfortable IV reminded him of his panic attack and black out. His head was still spinning, but he was alive. The beep from the heart monitor made him aware of his surroundings. Like the card on his nightstand from Scott and Allison. Wow. Hell must have frozen. But Allison’s signature was there. And no, Scott did not sign it for her. Maybe he had a new friend. He needed one. Especially one who was protective of the ones she loved.

Ignoring the urge to scratch his left hand, he remembered the fear. The loud silence as his thoughts rushed. The heavy pounding of his heart. Rubbing his temples, he swallowed the lump in his throat. His eyes on the gorgeous strawberry blonde sleeping uncomfortably in the chair beside his bed with her hand in his still.

It fit so perfectly with his. Like they were made for him. He wished he knew what to do next. As if there were no consequences for whatever choice he made. He was trying to convince himself that just because she was here didn’t mean that they would be together. That was selfish of him to think that. Especially since she needed time to learn how to be alone. 

“Hey kiddo.” So deep in his thoughts, he didn’t see his father enter. With a smile on his face, Stilinski was reminded where his son got his awkwardness from.

“Are you here to chastise me?” He rubbed Lydia’s knuckles, trying to wake her.

“I was, but now I’m just glad you’re alright. I’m sure Lydia is too.” He chuckled as Stiles blushed.

“Dad. It’s not what you think.” He scooted closer to the edge. Rubbing his thumb across her face. Moving stray hairs behind her ear.

“Son, you don’t owe me an explanation.”

“That’s code for you want to know everything and I should eventually tell you everything. Maybe dad, but not now.” He answered honestly.

“I can wait.” He watched Stiles coddle the girl. 

“Stiles?” Lydia woke up to most beautiful man shed ever met.

“Hey.” He rubbed her shoulder. “you’ve been here for a while now. You should go home and get some rest.”

“But what about you?” 

“I’ll deal.” He laughed. “You’re coming back right.”

“Yeah. Of course.” She grabbed her things, blushing at Stilinkski staring at them intently. “Good to see you again.”

“You two Lydia.”

“I will give you two time alone.” Her eyes lingered on his as she left. 

He didn’t want her to leave either.


End file.
